The weather turned overnight from Hot, hot to freezing cold on Friday and it has been snowing in Kwa Zulu Natal….Nottingham Road was a foot deep in snow, and the Main N3 from Joburg /Durban was grid locked with some motorists stuck in the cold for over 12 hours….and some for 2 days…. Snow was 2 metres high on the roads….caused Absoluuuuut chaos as many people were on their way from Durbs to Joburg for the Currie Cup final and never made it….. Tuesday was heritage day, and many were on the roads for a L-O-N-G weekend…….We Tukka are not geared for such sudden changes in weather… They reckon could snow next week again….
Rugger,Rugger,Rugger………………
The Currie Cup final was played at Ellis Park in VERY cold conditions with slight rain, and the first 50 minutes was ‘Droooog’ Rugger, with no score, and then a few tries came and it looked like the ‘Mighty Lions’ would win, BUT……at the last lineout they lost the ball (Bunch of Schmucks) and the Sharks picked up a L-O-N-G range penalty and Hendrikse kicked it for the Sharks to win…… Really sad that the Lions blew it at the last moment….. 16-14……
Amber Rabinowitz is in her late teens and about to go on her first date
Like all Jewish mothers her mother says she would like give her some motherly advice
She says:
"If the guy wants to hold your hand you should let him
If he wants to kiss you , you can let him.
If he wants to fool around a little you can let him
But whatever you do, do not let him get on top of you
Because then your mother will really worry"
So Amber goes out on her date and gets back home around 2:30 a.m.
Of course her mother is waiting up for her
When she gets in mother asks her what happened
Amber says:
"He wanted to hold my hand. So I let him
Then he wanted to kiss me. So I let him
But when he wanted to fool around and get on top of me I said:
'No. I'll get on top of you. Let your mother worry'" ( Ag Neeeeeeee….)
The All Backs played the ‘Wallies’ and from the first minute they were on top, with soooo much possession and ran in 4 tries to have 28 points on the board….Came second half, the Wallies fought back, and luckily the All Blacks kicked for posts instead of a lineout and added 3 points after the break….and that was it….The Wallabies came VERY close to winning the game…. BUT….in the end the All Blacks held on and won 31-28, with the Wallabies scoring at will in the second half….. Methinks it will be a different story at home, and they should get a good win…..The All blacks have been on tour for a few weeks and it will be good to be back home….. Sam Cane must go, Savea on the flank, and Beauden Barret at fly half and the team will fly…….
The Bokke, really hashed things up in Argentina against the Puma’s……. The Waterboy and his Bobbameises cost the Boks the game, and it should have been a strong team for this game, and play around once you have won the championship…..Reckon Mbombela Test will see the Boks win VERY easy, as they are at home, and 4/5 of the best shpielers will come back into the team…. The Waterboy has tooo many tricks, and unfortunately, his running out of luck….. No one should blame Manie Libbok for missing the final kick, BUT….the earlier kick that never made touch is just not good enough, and just like Jantjies, Manie is a good Shpieler BUT…..is not Bok material….. His general play is suspect most of the time…… Time to stop buggering around, and get down to basic’s like play your Top team, and introducing the newer players slowly and a few at the time…. The Lock pairing was very weak, until Eben came on and the centres were ‘vas aan die slaap’ …. Jesse Kriel is totally overrated, and Um is not close to the best we have….. Guys like Steph, Cheslin, Kwagga were missed at the beginning…. Fassi at Fullback is VERY suspect….???? I see that Manie is the starting Fly half…??? In my humble opinion the Bokke have won the years Cup, so it’s worth a try with Manie to save face for last week’s shambles….
Cricket is all but finished in Souff Effrikka….. It has been crushed by CSA, who actually have no clue, and very little experience….. The coaches are green behind the ears, and there are maybe 1 / 2 genuine cricketers among the whole lot….The balance are average shpielers….. Going down horribly in the first two tests is against Afghanistan by big margins is a disgrace, and to send a team of virtual Kaylikka’s is a disgrace….. Cricket is going the way of Sokka, with Bafana Bafana shocking and in most cases unable to qualify for most competitions…..
Those in the USofA can get their supply Biltong, Droe Wors and other Souff Effrikken 'Gerichten' from the Biltong Guy www.1800biltong.com …all products are ‘Glatt Kosher’ ( in separate area)…., and they have a wide variety of ‘Lekker’ Biltong/Wors details at http://www.stantgsm.com/category/info/15 New Biltong supplier for the USofA
"Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies." — Mother Teresa
'Harmony makes small things grow. Lack of it makes big things decay.' — Sallust/Gaius Sallustius Crispus
'Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple effect with no logical end.' — Scott Adams
If you cannot do great things, do small things in a great way. — Napoleon Hill
Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters. Albert Einstein
The fool wonders, the wise man asks. - Benjamin Disraeli
I've seen how you can't learn anything when you're trying to look like the smartest person in the room. - Barbara Kingsolver
I know that I am intelligent, because I know that I know nothing. - Socrates
“Life is short. Be of use.” – Robin Sharma
'My strength did not come from lifting weights. My strength came from lifting myself up when I was knocked down.' - Bob Moore
“Adventure can be an end in itself. Self-discovery is the secret ingredient ...” ― Grace Lichtenstein
“Never give up on what you really want to do. The person with big dreams is more powerful than one with all the facts.” ― H. Jackson Brown Jr.
If your shul does not receive the HaMizrachi Magazine, you can access it online on the following link: https://mizrachi.org/hamizrachi/
It’s that time of the Year that we must all think about those less fortunate than ourselves…… This year is worse than many years before it, as the Mid East war has put a huge damper on the local scene….The various homes under the Chevra Kadisha have Tukka gone out of their way to ease the pain,…for our elders & families needing assistance…...‘Gib A Seriaaaaaaas Kuk’…always know what is available in such difficult times we live in at the moment. www.jhbchev.co.za …and their Funeral announcements daily, enlighten everyone…… https://jhbchev.co.za/funerals-unveilings/ …. Ex Pat Yidden, know the work done by the Chevra, and all the various things they do soooo uniquely for the Yiddisher community are needed to help a Biesel with support, as a Pound / Dollar goes much further than a Rand………. When one is considering giving ‘Tzedaka’, which is one of the cornerstones of Yiddisher life, please give generously to the Chev, and those that are in countries with Pounds & Dollars, those currencies are GOLD when changed into Rands……Chai South Africa is an organization set up, outside the Beloved Country to send funds to assist the needy at home…. EVERY charity is worthy, and there is not one better than the other, BUT….The Chev have a tremendous task, with soooo many in need……. And unfortunately in these times more and more of the community are struggling…..Business is VERY tight, and jobs for middle aged ‘Vicers’ is very difficult to get
The 'Koppie' & Mountain’ climbers... posting the most E-mazing Pichaaaaaa’s on their website http://lazarowhike.blogspot.com/ ….. 'Gib A Kuk’…. Nepal: Last Post: Perspectives of an hotel, Le Glamour, amongst the various sites and sights of Pokhara. 63.23/24 San Diego, a brief stopover: A few local walks amongst the Del Cerro flowers to Lake Murray. / South Fortuna in Mission Trails Regional
The E-mazing Coffee Table book, ‘The Road through the Grove’, which calls back the past, of the history from the Johannesburg Drive In along the BIG LB
(Louis Botha Avenue) to Hillbrow, and anything on either side from Highlands North High to KES, very few copies left, and I am selling them at R500 in the Johannesburg area and will get them delivered to you….. Don’t miss this E-mazing book…. What a gift!!!!!!!!! Drop me an E-mail at smookler@netactive.co.za … The stocks are running low, soooo don’t wait…….…. …. Need to send 4 books to Irvine, California or somewhere nearby…. ??
A Father Christmas in a large department store was taking requests From a long line of children , asking each child what they wanted for Christmas .
He got one little boy who said ‘I do not want anything, I am Jewish.''
With that the Father Christmas pats the little boys head and says.
‘’ A gesund uf deine Keppel.’'
Two Jewish soldiers after the occupation of Japan woke up in camp
One day .the one soldier said,
‘’Abe shtay auf , der sohn shint ‘' ( Abe the sun is shining…)
A non-Jewish soldier nearby said.
‘’Those Jews are E-mazing. Been in this country ten days and already
They can speak Japanese .’'
An October the 7th Commemoration is taking place in Joburg …Monday, October 7th as we come together to commemorate the tragic events that affected innocent men, women, and children in Israel, and to show our resilience. ………..
Eli is a Genealogist of note…Eli Rabinowitz – 'Gib A Kuk' at his blog… https://elirab.me/about/ ……. E-mazing news from 'Der Heim’s' & The 'Beloved Country' … Doing what he does best ….Everything …
A soon-to-be-married guy and his fiancée met with the rabbi to sign some pre-wedding ceremony papers
While filling out one form the guy read aloud a few of the questions
When he got to the last one he read:
"Are you entering this marriage at your own will?"
Unsure of what to do he looked over at his fiancée
She simply said:
"Put down ‘yes’" (Az Dem Balabos Zogt….)
Grooooot story about changing Sandton Drive into Leila Khaled Drive is a shocker, as the Emeeeerken Embassy is siuated on no 1 Sandton Drive ….. The City of Johannesburg's proposal to rename Sandton Drive as "Leila Khaled Drive" is deeply divisive and directly contravenes the city's own street renaming policy. Leila Khaled gained notoriety as the first woman to attempt an aircraft hijacking in 1969.
Another failed aeroplane hijacking by Khaled involved her accomplice throwing a grenade at passengers, and shooting a crew member, though the grenade failed to detonate. To venerate violence and honour such an individual is an affront to peace-loving South Africans …………Khaled is a long standing member of the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine (PFLP), an organisation designated a terror group by the United States, Japan, Canada, and the European Union. The PFLP was jointly responsible for the 1972 Lod airport massacre, in which terrorists opened fire on passengers arriving in Tel Aviv, killing 26 people and injuring 80. …. Quite
E-mazing is that ALL reports refer to her as an Activist…….Yislaaaaaaaaaaaik … ’Woke’ has taken over completely when it suits the ‘Galeria’s’…..
Julio Woznica, a very special tour guide, speaking many languages….. and his Soweto Tours are legendary…. 082-654 4888 http://stantgsm.com/search/julio
So he went to a rabbi to check out what was required to do so
The rabbi told him he would have to study the Talmud and read the Torah
He would also be required to learn all the laws and take the ritual mikvah bath
The man said:
"I can do all that easily
Is there anything else?"
The rabbi responded:
"Well yes
You will have to be circumcised"
The man's face went white and he asked:
"Will it hurt?"
The rabbi wanted to be as honest as he could without scaring the man
He thought for a moment and then said:
"Well
I was eight days old when it happened to me
And I couldn't walk or talk for a year" ( Oy…..Vy)
A Virtual Memorial Service for South African Jewry who have Fallen in the Defence of South Africa or Israel, as well as in memory of The Six Million Holocaust Martyrs
The South African Jewish Ex Service League & Telfed invite you to join us in a virtual memorial service for South African Jewry who have fallen in the defence of South Africa or Israel as well as in memory of The Six Million Holocaust Martyrs.
Einaaaaaaaaaaaaah…..Government is planning to phase out the 10 111, 10 107 and 107 emergency numbers and introduce a single number short code. ...According to the Presidency, there are measures put in place for South Africa’s transition to a single emergency number short code: 112……how many people still dial 911 and how long will it take for the population to get used to 112 ….??? In the past few years they reckon 7m calls have not been answered, and the call centres are totally understaffed…..What will changing the number help…..Even if they get the staff, they are just not motivated to assist the public..????
Wife arrives home late at night from a business trip and quietly opens the door to her bedroom.
But she notices four legs instead of two peeking from under the blanket!
Seized by a fit of rage, she reaches for the baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket until the screaming stops.
Still in shock, she lurches to the kitchen to have a drink. As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine.
"Oh welcome home darling," he says, "your parents came for a visit, so I let them have our bedroom. I hope you said hello." (Einaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah…..)
Bit of Good news is that Petrol is expected to go down just over a R1 a litre….which will help a Biesel….
The Selwyn Segal gift Shoppe is open for Yomtov gifts….. The widest range of gifts available, and the ‘Meidlach’ & Desmond would Luv to see you there….They do deliver, so get your orders in early See ; https://stantgsm.com/category/info/15
Sue Lyons has more than 30 years’ experience teaching all grades, language, literature and creative writing and teaches TEFL (English as a foreign language). …. Sue also runs Engleeeeesh classes……. Who knows, the Good Shabbos letter might become more refined. Contact Sue at ; suzannelyons625@gmail.com …….. Mobile; 082 8511510
EVER WONDER...
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavour, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
Howard Feldman, our local Radio/newspaper jockey, has come under fire….Firstly from News 24 who said he can’t submit material and more due to his jokes about the Pager/Hezbollah conflict (Not Lebanon…)…..This I found quite strange, as a day does not go past without reading “From the River….. What does Basson think that’s all about…..??? I compare this to the U19 Cricketer Teeger who was stripped of the captaincy, JUST because pressure from certain groups….This is what has happened with Howard…..What made it more of a joke was that the Sunday Times ( a Hamas breeding ground) nominated him as the Mampara of the month….. Quite unbelievable, with all the hate they spew about ‘Yidden’….. ‘Gaan maar aan Howie’, you are obviously getting to the truth…..
,
The Cape Town Kollel has started, and their first project is to run dynamic Meaningful talks, and if you are in Slaaaaaaapstad or visiting/passing through on a Monday. Join in the Meaningful Monday https://www.stantgsm.com/category/info/15
Surprise, surprise
Rabbi Landau has always been secretly sad that he's never been able to eat pork. So one day, he flies to a remote tropical Island and books into a hotel. “No one will find me here,” he said to himself. On the first evening, he goes to the best restaurant and orders the ‘roast pork special’. While he’s waiting, he hears someone call his name. Rabbi Landau looks up and sees one of his congregants walking towards his table. What unbelievably bad luck – the same time to visit the same restaurant on the same island!
Just at that moment, the waiter puts on his table a whole roasted pig with an apple in its mouth and says, “Your special, sir.” Rabbi Landau looks up sheepishly at his congregant and says, "Would you believe - you order an apple in this restaurant and look how they serve it!" (OY….)
I must point out the following; When sending large lists of e-mails, the chances of providers blocking them are Great…..The next problem is the letters get spammed, and go into the spam/reject/ Junk files….If you don’t receive the letter, please look in the spam/Junk file….
and it has the current letter and past letters also….
Last week, they unveiled the New Sporting excellence centre at King David Linksfield and what an E-mazing centre it is….. Hirsch Klaff, from Class of 1970 donated most of the Funds needed to construct the facility……will really be used extensively by the students of Linksfield…… See Picture; https://www.stantgsm.com/category/pictures/4
David and Judy Edelstein were admiring their garden from the kitchen window. Judy said: "Sooner or later, you're going to have to make a proper scarecrow
to keep the birds off the flower beds."
"What's wrong with the one we've got?" asked David.
"Nothing. But my mother's arms are getting tired.” (Chutzpah………….)._
Its Litvak Passport time again……
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‘GOKO’ Safaris offer Kosher Safaris Tanya & David Libesman are the Originators of the Tours when they take all the hassle out of Booking/Air tickets etc, and of course arrange for a Kosher Chef to accompany the Tour….. In Hoedspruit (has an Airfield) Devorah & Jesse Lemmer are there to do the finer details….. info@gokosafari.com
Although born to a good Irish-Catholic family Colm had always wanted to be Jewish
As a senior in college he decided to take the plunge and go through the formal Conversion process
He studied Judaism all semester
Finally he felt he was ready to take the test and complete the Conversion
On the appointed day he arrived at the rabbi's office ready to begin
The rabbi said:
"I'm sorry. But before I give you the test I must discuss my fee
It's $5,000"
"Holy Mother of God! $5,000!" exclaimed Colm
"That's a lot of money. How about fifty bucks?"
"Congratulations. You pass" said the Rabbi ( Mazeltov….)
After last week’s post about the passing of my old Chaver Ivan Strous in Durban, got quite a few e-mails from ‘Troopies’ around the World…….. Ivan was one of our Kosher chefs….. Got a mail from Rob Schneider in Sydney who sent me a picture from 1968 when he was with Ivan and they were on Ulpan together….. The third guy in the picture was Trevor Weiner, who I know very well…..His Late Dad used to own Dales Stores with Jack & Bob Golombick…… Worked there many a holiday in town……Ivan school boy friend, Maurice Fisher passed away a month before ….Really sad, as they were still young…. Picture; …..
Minsker the Shlepper”… Paul Minsker has been singing in the Sandton Shul choir, and he does ‘Shlepping’ ….Besides Airport runs, Sun City etc., he also does ‘Shlepping’ of confidential documents…… 083-5426480 see https://www.stantgsm.com/view-post/pauls%20driver%20service/8242’
It seems this young (but not too religious) boy comes home from his first day at Hebrew School, and his father asks him what he learned.
"We learned to say Kaddish, papa."
Well, the father is none too happy to hear this, so he runs down to the synagogue and confronts the Rabbi. "Rabbi," he says.
"What is this about you teaching my son to say Kaddish?
After all, he shouldn't know about this at so young an age, and besides, I'm a young man myself, in excellent health, and I expect to live a long time yet!"
The Rabbi answered, "First of all, it's not Kaddish, it’s KIDDUSH!
And secondly, you should only live so long till he learns it!" Oyvevoy…………)
On a bus in Tel Aviv, a mother was talking animatedly, in Yiddish, to her little boy –
who kept answering her in Hebrew. And each time the mother said, "No, no, talk Yiddish!" An impatient Israeli, overhearing this, exclaimed, "Lady, why do you insist the boy talk Yiddish instead of Hebrew?" Replied the mother; "I don't want him to forget he's a Jew."
Finland has the largest number of islands in the world (over 179,550)
Mount Everest is 8.9km (5.5 miles) high
FOR the MOST 'Jacked up' 'Yiddisher' Wedding registry, 'Gib A Kuk' at; www.binuns.co.za …… Online Helpdesk … 0861 772 665 …
Happy 85th birthday to Unky (Arnon) Zangwill…… ‘Unky’ was/is a keen sportsman and has been involved with bowls for over 50 years, cricket, Rugger & now Baseball as he stays in Tooo-Run-Tooo these days and supports the Blue Jays…..He shares the 20th. September with me…..Many more Unky in good health…
Happy birthday to my Zunnelle Joel who celebrated his birthday this week, and to my wife Ava ……Many more and enjoy the birthdays…. We all 3 normally fall over Yomtov, but this being a Leap year, Yomtov is next week…. Happy birthday Familia….
Happy birthday to Betty Balloon’s Binks Burns……. (My honorary Yid)…. Betty has her birthday 2 days after mine and is the same age as me….. Betty lives in Vero Beach, Florida….. She was TUKKA the “ Queen of Simcha Balloon’s” ….many more in Good health…
Mazeltov to Julia Serebro on the occasion of her Batmitzvah @ Katy’s Palace….Mazzies to Brad & Amy….. Remember doing Brad’s Barmy ‘Amolikke Yoren’ and his Schvester Lauren’s Chasene…..Lots of Nachus from Julia….. Tanx to Ricci Goldstein for the Lekker pictures…. https://www.stantgsm.com/
Mazeltov to Tali (Ogus) & Liav Cohen on their Chasene @ Sandton Shul…..What an E-mazing Simcha……It was the first Cuppa done in the new Garden venue @ Sandton Shul, and the food by Riva Flax Catering was E-mazing….The Chuppa Band did the Chuppa which was VERY long, BUT……It was superb, and the Celebration carried on into the night….. One interesting fact is that Tali is the Grad daughter of the Late Ronnie Bass (Sigma) who was a bowler when I started at the Guild and he managed to sell my Volvo……Mazeltov to the whole Mishpocha….
Sincere condolences to the Ettlinger family on the passing of their Beloved Lennie….. Len was a Layer but also helped with cricket scoring ‘Amolikke Yoren’, and was close to the Late Charles Fortune……. Lennie was a good Chaver of the Late Benny Joffe (Brian’s Dad) and drew up our Beaconsfield contract 40 years ago…..Sincere condolence to the family on the loss of a very gentle man…
Sincere condolences to the Sachs family on the loss of their Beloved Shirley ….Shirley was the mother of Trevor Sach’s who has been a Simcha photographer for over 40 years and has his Kodak shop in the Pick ‘n Pay hypermarket in Norwood…..Sincere condolences to the whole family ……….
Sincere condolences to the Novis (Nowesenitz) family on the loss of their Beloved Eric, aged 94……. Eric has been living in Melbourne for many years, and his Zunnelle Leon has looked after him since his wife Doreen passed away…. Doreen had two Schvesters that stayed in Lichtenberg, Nita Kotzen & Mary Rozowsky , and her Boet Errol Paul was also there for a while … Leon‘s wife Gillian & Schvester Nicole were Stan & Pete waiters ‘Amolikke Yoren’ ….. Sincere condolences to the family……
Please note that I only list Yidden who have passed away, that I know, and the Chevra Kadisha offer a list of daily burials & Unveilings, which lists all people passing away….. Click on the link, and you will have all the details……
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MANTIS SECURITY TIP (Call 011- 487-1000 for any assistance) of the week
FOR ANY EMERGENCY, SUSPICIOUS ACTIVITY OR POTENTIAL THREATS SPECIFICALLY RELATED TO THE JEWISH COMMUNITY OR JEWISH INSTALLATIONS, CONTACT THE CSO ON 0861 8000 18
MANTIS SECURITY TIP (Call 011- 487-1000) of the week..
Mantis Security are always on the prowl, looking for the Gunovim, and assisting in keeping the Yiddisher community safe….
Besides the normal guard division, they also have a sophisticated Electronic surveillance section, which can access and advise you on all your security needs….
With Yomtov on Monday evening, please listen to the CSO when at the Shuls, and they put out regular bulletins on the security awareness at the time …
Browse through their website , https://cso.org.za/ and have their Emergency number on your phone 086 18 000 18 …24/7 …
Hatzolah is also their in case of an emergency …Read their advice on the website https://www.hatzolah.co.za/ Emergency number… 0600 124 124
Those walking to Shul, be aware of your surroundings and always wear a shiny Chevron when dark, and walk facing the traffic….
Try and walk in groups…
Be ‘Wakker’ & ‘StreetwiZe’ all the time…………
Call; MANTIS @ (011- 487-1000) for advice and sign up and discuss it with their experienced staff.
Have a peaceful, restful Shabbos...From Stan and the Clan
Smookler@netactive.co.za
Eerbare Makelaaaaaar van Suid Afrika ………
Cell- 082-4547860
You may be familiar with the story of the passionate British soccer fan who was asked whether he considered soccer a matter of ‘life and death.’ He said, “No. it’s much more important than that!”
Well, I’d like to address what I would call some of the ‘more important’ things in life.
The final countdown has officially begun. It’s a week to Rosh Hashanah! Hopefully, you’ve sorted out your Shul seating arrangements, festive meal schedule, and a few new Yom Tov recipes, and we can look at other matters.
This Shabbat we will read two short but intense Parshas, Nitzavim and Vayelech. Together, they comprise a grand total of only 70 verses, but they are packed with powerful messages for life and, particularly, for this season in our calendar.
“You stand firmly today, all of you together, before G-d…” is the beginning of the first reading of Nitzavim. Moses is addressing the entire nation as he prepares for the end of his life, and to pass the baton onto Joshua, his successor, who will take the people into the Promised Land.
He speaks of the unity of Israel, the accessibility and practical relevance of the Torah way of life for all of Israel, that we all have freedom of choice, and how G-d appeals to us to choose our path in life wisely.
According to commentary, the opening line, “You stand firmly today,” is actually a veiled reference to Rosh Hashanah which is always observed in the week following this reading. “Hayom,” Today, is a word that will be heard over Rosh Hashanah many times. No doubt, many different melodies come to mind from just this one word. Hayom, this day, is the Day of Judgment, and it is therefore not surprising that the word reverberates through our Yom Tov prayers.
So how are we to prepare for the Days of Judgment ahead?
Firstly, we are encouraged to focus not only on the physical or culinary preparations necessary, but again, more importantly, to get ourselves into a state of spiritual readiness.
Have you ever had the frightening experience of preparing for the wrong test? You spent hours over your History syllabus and when you arrived at school you received the English exam?! If you have, I’m sure it was panic stations and unnerving to say the least.
Well, we all have to pass our own tests in life. What would happen if we arrived at the Heavenly Exam and the questions put to us are not at all what we spent our lives preparing for? We’ve focused on our businesses, our health, our sports and leisure activities – all necessary and natural. But what if we’ve forgotten about the other areas of life that are ‘more important?’
The Talmud (Shabbat 31a) has shared some inside information about the questions we will be asked at the legendary Pearly Gates. Guess what? None of the questions pertain to our wealth, health, or other occupations. We will not be asked about our share or property portfolios, our waistlines, or our athleticism.
We will be asked whether we conducted our business affairs faithfully, with honesty and integrity; if we fixed regular times for Torah study, if we did our best to raise a family, and if we looked forward to the Final Redemption.
Does this come as a shock to you? Did you imagine that if you will say, “Let me into heaven because I made the Fortune 500” you would gain entry? Or, perhaps “Open the Gates of Heaven for me because I ate my broccoli or, I never developed a pot belly?” Or “I supported the winning NBA or Super Bowl team, or Manchester United, or Liverpool?”
The eternal questions deal with the truly ‘more important’ things in life. Were you a worthy human being? Were you honest and upright? Did you dedicate yourself to studying G-d’s wisdom? Are you leaving a legacy of children and grandchildren who will learn from your fine example? Did you aspire higher, and be hopeful of a better world for all?
Of course, health is important. Ask anyone who is suffering from illness. Wealth is a big one too. We all want to live comfortably and be able to give generously. And to have a break from work and engage in sports, whether as a participant or spectator, has its merits too. But these are all means to a higher end. When the game of life is over, the truly important things – our higher value system, and the legacy we leave trump all those considerations. A healthy and wealthy life is not as important as a worthy life.
We still have a week to prepare for the right exam, to focus our time and attention on higher values and recalibrate our priorities in preparation for the new year. If we do it, we’ll be able to answer the questions much more confidently. May we be prepared and may we be blessed.
I wish you all Shana Tovah. May our prayers for our unfortunate hostages, valiant defenders, and for regional peace through our strength and resilience be answered positively? Amen.
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