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GOOD SHABBOS
13 June 2024
Celebrating 23 Years!
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Dear All,

 

The Freeeeeeze has subsided and we have reasonable slightly warmer weather in the ‘Ou Transvaal’……. The Winter has finally arrived…..

 

Watched some of the Oz/NZ Super Rugger which is up to the final rounds, and Methinks we are poorer for not being in that tournament, as opposed to the URC Poer-Poer tournament….. I see they are hoping to re kindle the LONG Rugger tours between the Boks & The ‘Mighty All Blacks’….That will be E-mazing…..

 

The Bulls played Benetton in the Quarters and it was a superb game with some Very good Rugger….In the end the Bulls deserved the win as they were all over Benetton for most of the game, BUT….. Benetton kept coming back …. Oy, besides speed Willie is dropping high balls more often….. Goosen at Fly Half had a good day….

The Bulls have a home semi –final against Leinster, who beat Munster 43-20, so Methinks the Bulls will battle to beat them, BUT….. Fort Loftus has been a big hurdle for travelling teams to jump…..so on home ground advantage; the Bulls might have a slight chance, BUT…. I doubt it….The other semi is between Munster & the Glasgow Warriors….. 

 

Gotta LUV Gatiep from Slaaaaaaaapstad………

A local Cape Town radio station had a competition where 10 people could win a trip to Mauritius if you met three simple criteria

1) You should be able to be fluent in English

2) You should be non-alcoholic

3) You should be employed

Gatiep called in:…….

Gatiep - Ek kannie eintlik English soe lekker praatie……..

Presenter - and......?.......

Gatiep - En I'm drinking a lot of beers

Presenter - and....... ?

Gatiep - Djy sien ekke hettie 'n job eintlikkie....

Presenter - So what is it that you want, you don't qualify for this competition.??? 

Gatiep* - Ek bel maa net om te sê............Ek gattie saamie... (Einaaaaaaaaaah….).

 

The Stormers played the Glasgow Warriors and what a tough game it was with a 6-0 score right till middle of second half, and then the Warriors ran in some tries and it was all over for the Sharks…..Willemse & Roos were badly missed, and Libbok had a shocker, and him not knowing what to do with the ball….and the goal kicking was a shocker….Must say the Stormers could have won, BUT…..tooooo many basic Mistakes…..

 

Next week, the Boks take on Wales in the first Test outing of 2024….Hopefully the ‘Waterboy’ does not play around and try and play a bunch of Kaylikka’s….He must select a strong opening test side, with a few new guys, who he wants to blood for the future….To play second stringers is an insult to Wales….???

 

The Protea’s –Netherlands T20 game was shocking, and after some puperb bowling, and chasing 104, they came out like a bunch of Kaylikka’s….Yes, the field is different, BUT…..these are Cricketers from a strong playing country, and should have done soooo much better …..12-4…..??? What would they have done if Miller did not play as a professional and got the winning runs….. This team cannot get near the Cup…! ! ! ! ! ! ! and they carried on their poor form against Bangladesh……and heaven knows how they won the game……They lucky Bangladesh are still ‘Kaylikka’s at the T20 game….

This clip is spot on….T20 is actually Baseball and this format is killing the traditional Test cricket …. https://youtu.be/-mzLXqJsryY?si=6pqkmtWT4MEDJXE6 

 

Pakistan versus India was interesting….. and India snatched a 6 run win ….The games being played in the West Indies are much better than in the USA …. The choice of Countries in various sports has become strange, like the last Sokka World cup in Qatar ….Sooooooo many good Sokka playing countries…….why go for such an ODD country ($$$$$) …..this cricket in the USofA, where they don’t have a stadium, and the one built for the tournament is terrible…..They are now planning some Super Rugger series to be played in Qatar over 8 years….$800m….. Totally crazy….they are ruining all sports by playing the tournaments in VERY odd places-

Those in the USofA can get their supply Biltong, Droe Wors and other Souff Effrikken 'Gerichten' from the Biltong Guy www.1800biltong.com   …all products are ‘Glatt Kosher’ ( in separate area)…., and they have a wide variety of ‘Lekker’ Biltong/Wors details at    http://www.stantgsm.com/category/info/15     New Biltong supplier for the USofA

 

“The price of being a sheep is boredom. The price of being a wolf is loneliness. Choose one or the other with great care.” – Hugh MacLeod. 

“In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, in the expert’s mind there are few.” – Shunryu Suzuk 

"The time to relax is when you don't have time for it." – Sydney J. Harris 

If heaven made him earth can find some use for him – Chinese proverb

A single lie destroys a whole reputation of integrity. – Baltasar Gracián

"You are in danger of living a life so comfortable and soft that you will die without ever realizing your true potential." –David Goggins

”One of life’s basic choices is whether to be who you were born to be or to fit in with the crowd.”  – Anon

”If there is no God, there is no moral standard, no ‘good’ versus ‘evil’.” 

All actions are then considered equal, and chaos ensues. 

Which is about where we are now.

"If the Divine didn't want us to be curious, He wouldn't have made us so smart!" 

Rabbi Avi Shafran

"The virtue of angels is that they cannot deteriorate; their flaw is that they cannot improve. Humanity's flaw is that we can deteriorate; but our virtue is that we can improve."  

Chassidic saying

"The whole world is a very narrow bridge. And the most important thing is to not be afraid." 

Rebbe Nachman of Breslov

"A man is not old until his regrets take the place of his dreams." 

Yiddish Proverb

"I am delighted when I hear a wise person speak, but even more appreciative when a fool remains silent."  …. Rabbi Gershon Chanoch Leiner

 

Shavuot was HUGE and some GR8888888 events took place…..with many speakers drawing good crowds……. Went Sandton and Sydenham for Yizkor……. And both were good…….The Chazzan & Choir @ Sydenham were excellent….

 

Lay of the Land https://layoftheland.online/2024/06/09/lay-of-the-land-weekly-newsletter-09-june-2024/    …...News from ‘The Land of Milk & Honey’…& the World …… Lay of the Land….    layofland@gmail.com

 

The low down on the GNU, all the Drek….won’t be a ANC-DA that’s for sure ….

https://www.iol.co.za/news/politics/just-in-president-cyril-ramaphosa-has-lost-his-grip-on-anc-nec-amid-gnu-talks-with-da-bc907e0a-263f-42c1-9dcd-53d60da0fe16

 

A Quote doing the rounds is;

"The danger to Souff Effrikka is not Jacob Zuma but a citizenry capable of entrusting a  man like him with the Presidency. It will be far easier to limit and undo the follies of a Zuma presidency than to restore the necessary common sense and good judgment to a depraved electorate willing to have such a man for their president. The problem is much deeper and far more serious than Mr. Zuma, who is a mere symptom of what ails Souff Effrikka...  Blaming the prince of the fools should not blind anyone to the vast confederacy of fools that made him their prince. The Republic can survive a Jacob Zuma, who is, after all, merely a fool. It is less likely to survive a multitude of fools such as those who want to make him their President again.

 

The releasing of the 4 Hostages on the weekend was Tukka just short of a Miracle, and hard to comprehend, when one looks at how many Galeria’s were guarding them, and they were all over the place…..so many stories, BUT…..the one that the Home Noa was being held belonged to an Aljazeera correspondent ….  ??? Abdullah Aljamal …..and people wonder why Aljazeera was banned in Israel…

‘OUR’ Governments response; https://dirco.gov.za/south-african-government-condemns-the-unlawful-and-callous-targeting-of-the-nuseirat-refugee-camp-by-the-israeli-occupation-forces/ ..One question, what were all the citizen’s doing in the middle where they had hostages…?????

 

M sends James Bond on a secret mission to heaven. 

When M doesn’t hear from Bond for over a day, he gets worried and calls up heaven. 

The Virgin Mary picks up the phone and says “Virgin Mary speaking”  

M asks her if Bond has reached there yet.  She replies that he hasn’t  

M waits another few hours and calls heaven back again. 

“Virgin Mary speaking” comes the response. “Is James there yet?” asks M.   

Again the answer is no.  

M is really worried by this time, but he waits for a few more hours and then calls heaven back again.  

“Hello, Mary speaking…” (Oy !!!!!!.... Kaylikka’s will catch it eventually…).

The 'Koppie' & Mountain’ climbers...  posting the most E-mazing Pichaaaaaa’s on their website  http://lazarowhike.blogspot.com/   …..    'Gib A Kuk’ The Koppies climbers are back home in the good ‘ol USofA  …  Four Western States (UCAN): Views of mostly desert lakes visited over the past 6 months (December through May with a 14-days break.)

 

The E-mazing Coffee Table book, ‘The Road through the Grove’, which calls back the past, of the history from the Johannesburg Drive In along the BIG LB 

(Louis Botha Avenue) to Hillbrow, and anything on either side from Highlands North High to KES, very few copies left, and I am selling them at R500 in the Johannesburg area and will get them delivered to you….. Don’t miss this E-mazing book…. What a gift!!!!!!!!!  Drop me an E-mail at smookler@netactive.co.za    … The stocks are running low, soooo don’t wait…….…. Russell eventually got his book….Need to send 4 books to Irvine or somewhere nearby….????? 

 

A ‘Joburger’ man was forced to take a day off from work to appear for a minor traffic summons. 

He grew increasingly restless as he waited hour after endless hour for his case to be heard.

When his name was called late in the afternoon, he stood before the judge, only to hear that court would be adjourned for the next day and he would have to return the next day.

"What for?" he snapped at the judge.

His honour, equally irked by a tedious day and sharp query roared, 

"100 Rand contempt of court. That's why!"

Then, noticing the man checking his wallet, the judge relented. 

"That's all right. You don't have to pay now."

The young man replied, "I'm just seeing if I have enough for two more words." (Mmmm)

 

The Comrades took place on Sunday and it was another glorious run, with Chabad Umhlanga having that ‘Brocha stop’ again…..  Piet Wiersma celebrated by raising his hands in triumph after becoming the first person from outside of South Africa to cross the finish line of the 2024 Comrades Marathon. ………. The 26-year-old Dutch runner crossed the line in 5:24:56. ….  After coming in second place in 2023, Wiersma vowed to come back stronger this year and was a fan favourite throughout the marathon. …. South African Dan Moselakwe came in second place, and Ethiopian Degefa Lafebo took the third spot……..Gerda Steyn, the ‘Daaaahling’ of Souff Effrikken supporters was the first woman to cross the finish line, setting a new course record. Steyn finished the race in 5:49:46. PICTURES ; Vic Bostan, the Macine finished his 46th. run, and Alan Robb, my old School Chaver also finshied his ‘Zillionth’ …… https://www.stantgsm.com/category/pictures/4 

 

Poems written by WIFE and HUSBAND………..

WIFE:

I wrote your name on sand it got washed. 

I wrote your name in air, it was blown away. 

Then I wrote your name on my heart & I got Heart Attack.

HUSBAND:

God saw me hungry, he created pizza. 

He saw me thirsty, he created Pepsi. 

He saw me in the dark, he created light. 

He saw me without problems, he created YOU. 

WIFE:

Twinkle twinkle little star

You should know what you are

And once you know what you are

Mental hospital is not so far 

HUSBAND:

The rain makes all things beautiful. 

The grass and flowers too. 

If rain makes all things beautiful

Why doesn't it rain on you?

WIFE:

Roses are red; Violets are blue

Monkeys like u should be kept in zoo. 

Don't feel so angry you will find me there too

Not in a cage but outside, laughing at you 

AND THE SAGA CONTINUES........

 

Eli is a Genealogist of note…Eli Rabinowitz – 'Gib A Kuk' at his blog… https://elirab.me/about/     ……. E-mazing news from 'Der Heim’s' & The 'Beloved Country' … Doing what he does best ….Everything …

Eli’s updates ….. https://www.facebook.com/elirab1    

Eli’s latest project is “The in my Pocket” project ….. https://docs.google.com/.../1sQAVq314pl1Y0TFRPR3W.../edit

 

The Shadchen approached a single woman and told her he had a husband for her. "I'm ashamed to bring this up," he said, "but the man wants to be sure you are compatible in bed. He wants, he says, a sample."

The woman was shocked. "Such a thing you ask a Frum ‘Yiddisher’ woman? Such a crude person would suggest such a thing? 

He must be a barnyard animal, not a gentleman."

The Schadchen, trying to earn a fee, said, "He's a pragmatic, man. 

After all, to him it's not a big deal... just a sample."

She thought a minute. "A pragmatic man, is he? So tell him I don't give samples. 

I can give him 50 or 60 references, if he wants though.  (….OY !!!!!!!!)

 

Eishhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhkom, are more Dodgy than the ANC (I suppose they are Chavers)……After the elections, they started with a new plan…… ‘Load Reduction’, which Methinks is worse than the load shedding, as it is during peak hours, in the bigger area’s……this will effect Industry big time again….. Lets see how the Load shedding pans out, BUT….they are liars….’Finish & Klaaaar’…..the NO load shedding was to hopefully ‘buy’ votes, BUT……it did not help and in the end the Public/Industry scored big…… It is most probably a matter of time before we back to continuous Load shedding….??

 

Julio Woznica, a very special tour guide, speaking many languages….. and his Soweto Tours are legendary…. 082-654 4888  http://stantgsm.com/search/julio         

Contact ; Juliowoz1@gmail.com              +27 82 65 44 888 …Virtual Tour ………  

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1g-fU4u5arkrC7zsQvl-SuL43GM3xqKEo/view   ...   Julio also doing Day Safaris tours now…..

 

Some Jokes about….’HIM’ ( Dankie Barney…………)

‘He’ went up to the bar with an empty glass. The barman asked if he would like another one, and he said “Sure”.  The barman gave him another empty glass.

‘He’ got arrested by the police and asked “What is the charge.”

The police replied “No charge – we do this for nothing.”

‘He’ has been learning karate.  After four lessons he can break a board with his plaster cast.

 

‘He’ bought a bath and the salesman asked  if he wanted a plug for it.

“Cool” he replied, “an electric bath.”

‘He’ calls his car “flattery”.  It gets him nowhere.

When ‘he’ went to the doctor and asked him for something for wind, the doctor gave him a kite.

‘He’ went into a shop for a box of matches and asked if they were Souff Effrikken ??.

The lady behind the counter said “Yes, everyone is a striker.”

When a nightclub bouncer wouldn’t let Ben into the club without a tie, he went to his car and got jumper cables out of his boot and tied them round his neck.

He went back to the club and the bouncer agreed to let him in, but said that he mustn’t start anything.

 

The BEST thing is the putting up of NEW Robots at the Marlboro Bridge, leading onto the M1 North & South….The Robots went on the blink 5 years ago, and for the past two years, there were no robots totally, after they were all stolen for salvage….For 5 years, the Outsurance points man have been manning the 3 intersections during peak times….. What an improvement…..spoke to soon, as the robots are on the blink and flicking RED all the time…..should correct it by the next elections……

 

It was announced that 71 ANC MP’s will not be returning after the poor show by the ANC…..BUT….There is a special one that is not carrying on and that is The Sheriff Bheki Cele, who has been put to green pastures after making such a mess, and another not coming back is Naledi Pandor, who has one thought in her mine is ’Palestine’……Hopefully they don’t let her carry on her evil work from the background ……. Zizi Kodwa is another who won’t be missed…..As Minister of Sport he made GROOOOOT KAK…… Zizi Kodwa's arrest on fraud charges involving millions …. And its E-mazing how quickly he got arrested as prosecutions among ANC elites is very rare/slow…????

 

Three engineers were in the bathroom standing at the urinals.

The first engineer finished and walked over to the sink to wash his hands. 

He then proceeded to dry his hands very carefully. He used paper towel after paper towel and ensured that every single spot of water on his hands was dried. 

Turning to the other two engineers, he said…………………………. 

"At Rolls Royce, we are trained to be extremely thorough."

The second engineer finished his task at the urinal and he proceeded to wash his hands. He used a single paper towel and made sure that he dried his hands using every available portion of the paper towel. He turned and said, 

"At Mercedes Benz, not only are we trained to be extremely thorough, but we are also trained to be extremely efficient."

The third engineer finished and walked straight for the door, shouting over his shoulder, 

"At Audi we don't ‘Pish’ on our hands." ( Eishhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh……………….)

 

Sue Lyons has more than 30 years’ experience teaching all grades, language, literature and creative writing and teaches TEFL (English as a foreign language). …. Sue also runs Engleeeeesh classes……. Who knows, the Good Shabbos letter might become more refined. Contact Sue at ; suzannelyons625@gmail.com …….. Mobile; 082 8511510

 

It’s Game reserve season, with the Vaalies hitting out to the Kruger National Park & surrounds….. E-mazing how many people go in the next 3 months, as it’s the best time to see game….Its not to hot…… Kruger is Kruger Clive, an old Lichtenberg Chaver has a timeshare week at Sanbonani from the 28th June 2024 to 5th July 2024 (7 days) ….. Sanbonani is situated on the banks of the Sabie and Sand Rivers and the 2 bedroom 6 sleeper self-catering chalet is fully equipped, comfortable, spacious and air conditioned. Sanbonani is situated near Hazyview next to Kruger Park Lodge, and is 8 kilometres from the Phabeni gate entrance to the Kruger Park. …Refer to the website for more information: https://www.sanbonani.com   Asking R9900 for the week. .Let me know smookler@netactive.co.za …. Last chance

 

Moshe arrived from Israel on Friday afternoon and approached old Mr. Katz in the hotel lounge 

He asked him . ‘’ What is the quickest way to get to the Central Shul.’'

Mr. Katz scratched his head and asked the man.

‘’Are you driving or walking ?’'

Moshe replied . ‘’ Driving.’'

Mr. Katz replied. ‘’ That is the quickest way .’' (Otazay…………..)

 

At the time of load shedding in Souff Effrikka , Cohen and Plotnick were married by candlelight Unfortunately  the marriage only lasted a wick .

Kazilsky operated a dry cleaning business in Sydney. 

After some time he was indicted for money laundering ,but a deal with the police is being ironed out.

Yankel asked his father when he came home from school.

‘’Abba , why do they call it multiple choice questions  when you only get to pick one???

 

‘GOKO’ Safaris offer Kosher Safaris Tanya & David Libesman are the Originators of the Tours when they take all the hassle out of Booking/Air tickets etc, and of course arrange for a Kosher Chef to accompany the Tour….. In Hoedspruit (has an Airfield) Devorah & Jesse Lemmer are there to do the finer details….. info@gokosafari.com 

 

Minsker the Shlepper”… Paul Minsker has been singing in the Sandton Shul choir, and he does ‘Shlepping’ ….Besides Airport runs, Sun City etc., he also does ‘Shlepping’ of confidential documents…… 083-5426480 see https://www.stantgsm.com/view-post/pauls%20driver%20service/8242

 

Get your online copy of the Jewish Report (No report due to Yomtov)….    or @ your Local Shopkella’s… 

Anyone wanting to join their mailing list …     https://bit.ly/jrmailinglistsignup ..

 

In Glenhazel a suburb of ‘The Shtetl’ , Bobba Silver., comes home and finds her house had been broken into and a number of articles stolen.

She phones the Caulfield police station and demands that they send police officers over immediately .

The police dispatcher tells her that all the police officers at the moment near her home are busy on cases and the only police car available at the moment is a  police canine control car .

She yells ‘’ I do not care send him over now.’'

The police car arrives and when Bobba sees the police officer get out the car he has a Alsatian dog with him.

Bobba starts wailing 

‘’ Oy gevalt my house gets robbed and they send me a blind policeman ( Oy ….Vy)

.

This weekend sees another L-O-N-G weekend, and Monday is the ‘old’ Soweto Day, a day that us older Manne remember only to well….The 16th June was always a day of Mass action/riots/disturbances during the ‘Struggle’ years, BUT….these days it has become a VERY peaceful day known as Youth Day…..for those that were around in the ‘Beloved Country’ in June 1976 will remember the horror years that followed……. My memory of the day was that I had just started Stan & Pete and we had a big Barmitzvah booked for the Gamsu family in Potchefstroom, and on Friday when all hell broke out we called the family and told them we would not able to come due to the Violence all along the Golden Highway near Soweto….The Late Bernhard Gamsu begged and offered to send a truck to fetch us, which would have been mad as they were stoning anything that moved……we loaded up, and left at 2.00am in the morning, and drove through fires, stones in the road etc…. Skrikky it was, BUT…..we got there did the Barmy and left late on Saturday night to avoid the protesters who did not protest at night…Freda Gamsu moved to the USofA with her daughter Benita & Robert Sandler……Robert is the Zunnelle of Joy Sandler who was the Late Mervyn & Bernard Chipkin’s Schvester……. Remember that day, 48 years ago like yesterday, and I am sure my Partners Dennis Cohen & Pete Arnold also remember the day….. I am sure everyone will enjoy a good quite relaxing day, and of course the Braaaaaai Vleis & Castle Lager will be king

 

The Yiddish show on Chai FM 101.9 …….. Every Thursday from 10am to 11am.

Featuring he 3 Kaplan’s Ronnie Kaplan, Hylton Kaplan and Shoshana Kaplan and Judy Moritz …..…..…. All 4 are very well known in the community

Yiddisher Webinar …. Friday, 14th. June @ 10.00am

Join Zoom Meeting

https://us02web.zoom.us/j/82228247734?pwd=bTFtVHBsZVV4bXhTSUJ2L3BDNjBmQT09 

Meeting ID: 822 2824 7734

Passcode: CJSA

 

Myron Michel’s is the new Shlepper on the Block, doing lifts to anywhere ….Contact Myron on 082-3273686 and e-mail ; See

https://www.stantgsm.com/category/info/15 for details......

 

When I first met my future wife’s father on our first date I knew he was a lawyer . 

Because the first thing he said to me was . ‘’ I object .’'

Jockovitch  tried to order tennis balls on the internet ,but the site kept crashing . 

Must have been a problem with the server..

Why do Kleptomaniacs always taking things literally. 

Two cartoonists entered a competition. The result was a draw..!

The police concluded their investigation as to how the robbers got into the house.

Intruder window .

Doctors have concluded their search about impotence.

It was nature’s way of saying . ‘’ No hard feelings .’'

If a parsley farmer gets sued. Can they garnish his wages ?

With the cold weather I decided to get a new pair of gloves.

But they were both ‘’lefts’’ which on the one hand is great .

But on the other hand it is just not right.

Einstein worked out that blunt pencils are really pointless .

 

As I mentioned, give Fay Arluk a call if you need a Tombstone….. Contact  Fay@bobbifayarluck@gmail.com  …..or call her on 082-4899054 or 011- 4850511  http://www.stantgsm.com/category/info/15

 

The Aged home in Pretoria, Jaffa, has an opening for a full time Mishgiach, and anyone wanting to apply ‘Gib A Kuk’ @ https://www.stantgsm.com/category/info/15 

Jaffa also has a few rooms available for any Yidden who would like to move in …The home is Tukka ‘Heimlach’ and many of my Chavers are there and have been there 

Jaffa are having their Annual Market Day on the 21st July…. Take a drive out in the Country, and join in the Market at Jaffa….. 42 Mackie St, Bailey`s Muckleneuk, Pretoria … It’s on the way to the Union building and Loftus Versveld….. Lekker drive and you pass some e-mazing sights….The Voortrekker Monument is on the way….

 

Some lekker ‘Lags’ @ http://www.stantgsm.com/category/jokes/5 

 

Chappies……. Did U know ………. ?????

http://stantgsm.com/view-post/chappies%20 %20fascinating%20story/5408

Barry Hilton does the ‘Chappies’ Shpiel…… https://youtu.be/LlDAhw0LFpY

The longest street in the world is Yonge street in Toronto Canada measuring 1,896 km (1,178 miles)

Did you know ….. Cars were first started with ignition keys in 1949

 

FOR the MOST 'Jacked up' 'Yiddisher' Wedding registry, 'Gib A Kuk'   at;        www.binuns.co.za      …… Online Helpdesk … 0861 772 665 …

 

Happy birthday to my Niece Melissa Abelman on her birthday this week ….Her Mom & Dad David & Dilyse Abelman are visiting her Boet Jeff in Brisbane…… This is their first trip out of Souff Effrikka (besides Swaziland) in 66 years….Have a ball and see you end of the month….. Brisbane has got quite a few new Yiddisher ex-pats of Late….

 

Mazeltov to my Zunnelle’s who both got married on the 15th June….. It has always been a popular date, being the night before a public holiday and a good night for Chasene’s coming out of the Omer….. Mazzies to Joel & Gina and Martin & Ricci-Lee Smookler…..Many more in good health……. Thinking back, they were both E-mazing Chasene’s….Joel’s at Sandton Shul & Martin’s @ Emperor’s place….. and just like this year, worrying about the weather…??? Which JUST held out, as the Chuppa’s were both outside…. Many more in Good health

 

Sincere condolences to the Reeb family on the loss of their Beloved Roy…… Met Roy when I was 12, 60 years ago, and he was always working on cars…… when I started Stan & Pete ,Roy and his Oooom Late Benny Stern had their garage next to my kitchen, and in those days even ‘Rufka The Bufka’  Ruby Raik could not get us a phone, and we shared theirs for 3 years….. Roy stayed in Raglan Street, Sydenham, ‘Amolikke Yoren’ and whenever you drove in Raglan Street; cars were parked on both sides waiting to be repaired……. Sincere condolences to the family ….

NATHAN FINE & MENDEL MEYER ARE ALWAYS THERE TO OFFER THE BEST DEALS ON TOP QUALITY BEDS, APPLIANCES AND FURNITURE.CONTACT THEM FOR THE BEST PRICE AND ADVICE ……… IDEAL FURNISHERS

MIDWAYS MALL 280 CORLETT DRIVE BRAMLEY GARDENS

NATHAN FINE & AND MENDEL MEYER AND THEIR FAMILY WISHES ALL THEIR FRIENDS,  FAMILY & CUSTOMERS A HAPPY NEW YEAR AND WELL OVER THE FAST.

PHONE 011 887 5456 ….  011 614 1351


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MANTIS SECURITY TIP (Call 011- 487-1000 for any assistance) of the week

FOR ANY EMERGENCY, SUSPICIOUS ACTIVITY OR POTENTIAL THREATS SPECIFICALLY RELATED TO THE JEWISH COMMUNITY OR JEWISH INSTALLATIONS, CONTACT THE CSO ON 0861 8000 18
 

MANTIS SECURITY TIP (Call 011- 487-1000) of the week..

  • As the War in the Middle East continues with twists & turns, so the locals get more involved with local conflict……

  • Be very aware of protests, intimidation…

  • Don’t get involved, its not worth it….Walk away …

  • Do not post inflammatory stuff on social media as the comeback is horrendous….

  • There have been many pro-Israel protests, which have been good and interference free….. at the moment…

  • Unfortunately, the world press turns the truth upside down every time….

  • Don’t put support stickers /flags on cars homes , as they will just lead to damage…

  • Follow instructions from Police/CSO etc, they normally know better

  • Walk in Groups when walking home from Shul on Shabbos…..

Be ‘Wakker’ & ‘StreetwiZe’ all the time…………
 

Call; MANTIS @ (011- 487-1000) for advice and sign up and discuss it with their experienced staff.

Have a peaceful, restful Shabbos...From Stan and the Clan
Smookler@netactive.co.za 
Eerbare Makelaaaaaar van Suid Afrika ………
Cell- 082-4547860
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Parsha of The Week 

Rabbi Emeritus 'Yossy Goldman,’                                                                                BH    
Sydenham Shul,

 

Sermonette Shavuoth

                                              Keep Your Balance

 

So what is the definition of a well-balanced individual? One who has a chip on both shoulders!

On Wednesday morning for Shavuoth we will read the Ten Commandments. The great Revelation at Sinai saw Moses come down the mountain bearing the Tablets of stone with the Ten Commandments engraved on them. As we know, the two tablets were divided into two columns - the Mitzvahs between us and G-d and the commandments governing our human relations. The one side was devoted to our responsibilities to G-d, i.e., Faith and Shabbat, while the other side dealt with our inter-personal duties, i.e., no murder, adultery and thievery. 

 

The message that so many seem to forget is that both these areas are sacred, both come directly from G-d, and both form the core of Torah law and what being Jewish is all about. We must be well-balanced Jews. We may not take the liberty of emphasising one tablet over the other. A healthy, all-around Jew lives a balanced, wholesome life and is, as the Yiddish expression goes; gut tzu G-t un gut tzu leit – good to G-d and good to people. If you focus on one side of the tablets to the detriment of the other, you walk around like a hinke’dike, a handicapped Jew with a bad limp. 

 

A good Jew is a well-balanced Jew. This means that it’s not good enough to be frum on the ritual side of Judaism and free and easy on the menschlichkeit side. You’ve got to be honest and decent and live with integrity so people will respect you too. If you are frum to G-d but not fair with people, you can become a fanatical fundamentalist blowing up people in the name of G-d! The same G-d who motivates and inspires us to be G-dly and adhere to a religious code also expects us to be a mensch. There is no doubt whatsoever that it is, in fact, a mitzvah to be a mensch. 

 

But neither can we neglect the right side of the tablets. A good Jew cannot simply be a democrat and a humanitarian. Otherwise, why did G-d need Jews for altogether? It is not enough for a Jew to be a nice guy. Everyone must be nice. All of humankind is expected to behave honestly and honourably. To be good, moral, ethical, and decent is the duty of every human being on the planet. A good Jew must be all of that and then some. He or she must be a good person and also fulfil our specific Jewish responsibilities, the Mitzvahs that are directed to Jews which are uniquely Jewish. 

 

I recently came across an interesting statistic on the Ten Commandments. The right-hand tablet bearing the duties to G-d consists of 146 words. The left-hand tablet listing our human responsibilities only has 26 words. Yet, tradition has it that both tablets were filled with writing. There were no big, blank spaces. So how did 26 words equal the space of 146 words? 

 

Well, anybody who uses a computer or word processor knows the answer. You simply adjust the font size. You can type in 10-point size or 24-point size. Take your pick. Now if we apply that same principle to the tablets, we have a simple solution. The 26 words on the left, reflecting our moral and ethical human responsibilities were simply a bigger size than the 146 words on the right reflecting our G-dly, religious responsibilities. So, we must never underestimate the importance of the human relations side of the Ten Commandments.

 

Then again, just so we don’t start limping, the very same G-d who said we should be nice also said we should have faith, keep Shabbos (yes, it is one of the Big 10), kashrut, mikvah and the rest of it. In fact, when people say to me, “Rabbi, I’m not that religious but I do keep the Ten Commandments,” I often wonder whether they are actually aware that keeping Shabbos is Commandment No. 4. 

 

As we celebrate the season of the Giving of the Torah and read the Ten Commandments this week, let us resolve to keep our Jewish balance, not to limp or become “one-armed bandits.” Please G-d, we will live full, wholesome, rich, and well-balanced Jewish lives. Chag Sameach.

 

Sermonette Naso  GOOD SHABBOS…….

                Holy, Holy, and Holier

                          Is sanctity born or bred?

 

Hymie Cohen was trying desperately to assimilate and leave all his Jewish baggage behind. So, the now renamed Horatio Cowen, applied to a very posh, pucker, waspish country club where no Jews were allowed to join as members. Before his application for membership was accepted, Cowen, formerly Cohen, was required to have an interview with the Chairman, Mr James Christopher Buckingham the 3rd. At the interview, Horatio, formerly Hymie, is looking intently at the Chairman’s face and it seems to him that, surprisingly, he has some distinctly Jewish features. So, after much pondering, he finally plucks up the courage and asks him directly, “Mr Buckingham, umm…by any chance…umm…might there possibly be some Jewish blood in your family?”

 

Buckingham stands up to his full height, pounds his desk, and shouts, “I beg your pardon! I’ll have you know I am a proud Presbyterian! And my father before me was a proud Presbyterian! And my Zayde olov hasholom before him was a proud Presbyterian! 

 

So, I guess Presbyterianism is transmitted from father to son. And so, as we know, is the Priesthood. A Kohen is a Kohen because his father before him was a Kohen.

This Shabbat we will read the Birkat Kohanim, the Priestly Blessing.  May G-d bless you and protect you… grant you favor…and peace. And in this same Parsha, Naso, we also read about the Nazirite (Nazir), one who takes a vow of abstinence from wine, haircutting, and certain other physical pleasures. And, like the Kohen, the Nazirite too, may not come into direct contact with the dead.

So a Kohen and a Nazir walked into a bar. Just joking. Not quite. But let me quote the Mishna.

 

A Kohen and a Nazirite are walking down the road and come across a “meit mitzvah.” A Jew is discovered lying dead on the roadside. In such a case, it is a big Mitzvah to bury him right there where he was found. Granting dignity to the deceased is considered so important in Judaism that even a Kohen Gadol, the High Priest himself, must knowingly defile himself to bury this poor man.

 

So the Mishna poses the case of a Kohen and a Nazirite who encounter such a dead body. Under ordinary circumstances, both these two individuals are prohibited from having contact with the dead. But here there is no one else to do the job. So, the Mishna asks, which one of them should do the burial? Only one need become Tamei and allow himself to become defiled by contact with the corpse. So which one should it be, the Kohen or the Nazirite? In other words, which one enjoys a holier status? Clearly, it is the less holy one who should allow himself to become defiled by doing the burial, while the holier one should keep his distance and retain his elevated degree of sanctity. 

The Talmud answers that it is the Nazirite who should do the burial. Why? Because a born Kohen stands higher than an individual who only assumed a position of holiness. The Nazirite took his status upon himself as an optional extra of his own accord. Another suggested answer is because the Kohen is holy by birth as per G-d’s instructions, while the Nazirite is self-appointed. He took a voluntary vow of sanctity. To be born a Kohen is perfectly natural, whereas to pronounce oneself holy may appear sanctimonious, self-righteous, and is thus somewhat suspect 

 

Then there is also the idea that a Nazirite may have taken the vow because he felt insecure with his own level of piety and wanted to ensure that he stays far away from temptation. Too much wine has landed many people in deep trouble, and many more in rather embarrassing situations. 

 

At the end of the day, both positions have merit and demerit. Being born holy is wonderful, but we need to make ourselves holy too, not just rely on our parents’ and grandparents’ pedigree, status, or yichus. To try and bring upon oneself additional holiness, like the Nazirite, is praiseworthy and honourable – provided it is done with humility, not arrogance. 

 

Way back at the Burning Bush, not only Kohanim but the entire nation of Israel was charged by G-d to be “a kingdom of priests and a holy nation.” We fulfil this calling by our day-to-day practices and commitments. May we be men and women of stature who will transmit our noble national character to be embraced by our children and grandchildren for generations to come? 

 

Whether by birth, or by practice, may we all strive to be holy and live with honour, distinctiveness, and sanctity?

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