*|MC:SUBJECT|*
GOOD SHABBOS
5 December 2024
Celebrating 23 Years!
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Dear All,

 

The weather has been ‘Kooking’ in the ‘Ou Transvaal’ even with the bit of rain….The weather E-fundi’s have predicted a VERY wet December, which we Tukka need ??

No rain yet…..????? and its VERY ‘Schvitzadik’ in the ‘Ou Transvaal’…..

 

The Movember Tests finished on the weekend with Ireland playing the Aussies….It was a massive game, with an E-mazing crowd….Ireland seemed out of it, BUT….kept close the whole game, and scored near the end and managed to hold onto a slender 22-19 lead and managed to hold on till the end with the Aussies ‘pipped’ in the end….Lowe & Van der Flier are incredible players and the test of Ireland are very ordinary….BUT a win is a win, and it gives new mean to the saying 

“ The Luck of the Iriosh”….. 

 

Another Tragic SHARK attack in Slaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaapstad by the Bananana boys ………………… Another Shark attack at Moses Mabida stadium on the weekend, when 15 players were attacked, and it was watched by 48,000 people http://www.stantgsm.com/view-post/sharks%20vs%20stormers/1197 

 

Guess whoever wins the Gold in the Olympics long jump will always remember they did it in a ‘LEAP’ year…………………! !! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! (Dankie Les..)

 

A devout Moslem has converted to Judaism ……………………….

She now wears a sheitel and calls herself BURKAWITZ ( Vaiz mir………….)

 

The URC competition carried on with a local derby between the Stormers and the Sharks….. Sharks started well, and it looked as if they would run away with the game ,BUT….The Stormers fought back the whole game, and had soooo many opportunities…… In the last move of the game ,in front of the Sharks posts, a loose scrum developed and ‘Mr Reliable’ Manie Libbok managed to slightly knock on the ball, and their last chance was gone …….. Was nice to see a very good crowd at King’s Park, just like the old days….. The Win moves the Sharks into 4th position, with the Bulls in third position ……

 

Sarah wanted a mink coat. 

Louis refused to buy it for her, claiming a very bad year in business. 

She told him that she would go out and work for it.

He demanded, “How could you earn money?”

She replied. “The oldest trade in the world” and walked out of the house.

That night she walked in, all battered and bruised, her clothing in complete disarray, her stockings torn, looking completely bedraggled. 

She shouted, “You see I can earn money. Look   R800.20.”

He looked at her sadly and asked “Sarah, who gave you the 20 cents?”

She answered “Everybody.” (Einaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah…..).

 

The Bulls –Connacht game was game full of errors with the Bulls looking Vris at the beginning, and taking a good lead, and Connacht got a red caard, and the Bulls kept the pressure up…. Second half saw the Bulls get a red card, and Methinks both Red cards were no more than a yellow, especially the Bulls one….In The URC competition a Red is for the rest of the game, not just 20 minutes….. In the end the Bulls won, 28-14…. Goosen & Moodie had very good games

 

The ‘Mighty Lions ‘played Munster, one of the high flying teams……. The game was played at a frantic pace in the first half, with the ball going up and down the field the whole time……. VERY tough game in very tough conditions, and I think it was an astro turf type of surface….They had plenty of rain just before the game…..They went down 17-10 which was very close……. They could not put together enough accurate play with plenty errors…..They played a good game…. Munster looked very ordinary….

 

The 7’s is back, with the Boks beating France & Australia and losing to Kenya (??) on the first day…. And then lost the 4/5th contest to the Puma’s and the slump continues…..Next week it’s at the Slaaaaaaapstad stadium….Hopefully home advantage will help…..????

 

The Protea’s finally managed to get a good test win against Sri Lanka…… Having bowled the Sri Lankans out for a record low of 42…. With Marco Jansen taking 7 first innings wickets and 4 second innings ones …. Much better play with Bavuma & Stubbs scoring centuries which have been very scarce in the Protea’s last couple of years…. Second Test starts today…

 

The Premier league was very active this past weekend with Manchester City losing to Liverpool, their 7th loss in a row…..??? which gives them an 11 point lead at this early stage of the competition, and 9 ahead of Arsenal & Chelsea wo both had wins… and on the opposite side of Manchester United had a 4-0 win against Everton…… Crazy that they never had one big win like this under Den Tag …. Chelsea had a 3-0 win against Aston Villa, Spurs & Fulham drew, Arsenal had a good 5-2 win against West Ham ….Going to be a very interesting season BUT….Liverpool look like they will take the Premier league, even though it is early in the season …


The ‘OLD’ days are Tukka gone when one thinks about the ‘Million Dollar’ Golf Tournament at Sun City….. Amolikke Yoren, fans were paying top dollar to get in….. These days it has become just another Golf Tournament, and not able to attract the ‘Real’ Shpielers ….This year tournament that starts today has been very poorly advertised, and I am sure many don’t even know its on….Methinks the top contender on the course is rated 35th in the world…… They used to start putting up the massive tents a few months before….It was such an Icon of an event ‘Amolikke Yoren’…..

Those in the USofA can get their supply Biltong, Droe Wors and other Souff Effrikken 'Gerichten' from the Biltong Guy www.1800biltong.com    …all products are ‘Glatt Kosher’ ( in separate area)…., and they have a wide variety of ‘Lekker’ Biltong/Wors details at    http://www.stantgsm.com/category/info/15     New Biltong supplier for the USofA

 

“Nothing taught by force stays in the soul.” — Plato

“Broad ideas influence more people. Specific ideas influence people more.” — James Clear

“Distractions! Let them come. Let them be. Let them go.” — Culadasa

“When you don’t know what to do, do nothing, be still.” — Oprah Winfrey

“There is greatness in doing something you hate for the sake of someone you love.” — Rabbi Shmuley Boteach

 “So plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.” — Jorge Luis Borges

I have great faith in fools - self-confidence, my friends call it. — Edgar Allan Poe

“People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.” — Joan Rivers

It is a waste of energy to be angry with a man who behaves badly just as it is to be angry with a car that won't go. — Bertrand Russell

“I have lived a long life and had many troubles, most of which never happened.” – Mark Twain

“Worries and tensions are like birds. We cannot stop them from flying near us, but we can certainly stop them from making a nest in our minds.” — Rishika  Jain

A man always blames the woman who fools him. In the same way he blames the door he walks into in the dark. — Henry Louis Mencken

 

The Mid East war seems to be tapering down, BUT…..The Tzorris in Syria will know also have a bearing on Israel’s war with Hezbollah, as they are not sure who is shooting the missiles still…. Syria or Hezbollah, and around the corner is Yemen who is trying its hardest to hit a good target in Israel…… What does Israel do….??? Abide by the cease fire or carrying on bombing if all these other Mumzers are now trying their luck….. Until Donald takes over things will be a little shaky, BUT….. Methinks, once he is in, we might see a pleasant way in which the Galeria’s continue……. Very sad what’s happening, with news slowing trickling in of Hostages that were killed 7/10 and their bodies taken back to Hell (Gaza)…and loved ones finding out after a year that they were not alive…. And also the Video’s articles being sent about the odd hostages…..They could still be alive, BUT…..its shocking for family & friends…… Terrible war this has been, with no real winner, except the death and destruction on both sides…… 

 

Lay of the Land   https://layoftheland.online/2024/12/01/lay-of-the-land-weekly-newsletter-01-december-2024/    .News from ‘The Land of Milk & Honey’…& the World …Lay of the Land….    layofland@gmail.com

 

Most people are not anti-Semites, but that is not the point…By Malcolm Gladwell

https://open.substack.com/pub/futureofjewish/p/most-people-are-not-antisemites-but?r=1gd344&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email 

 

Last straw: Amsterdam 'Jew hunt' triggers push for Dutch Jewish migration to Israel

https://www.timesofisrael.com/last-straw-amsterdam-jew-hunt-triggers-push-for-dutch-jewish-migration-to-israel/ 


An article written on Thursday of a Kafka exhibition at the National Library of Israel,  https://diplomacy.co.il/frontpage/4814-kafka-metamorphosis-of-an-author-exhibition-at-the-national-library-of-israel

The 'Koppie' & Mountain’ climbers...  posting the most E-mazing Pichaaaaaa’s on their website  http://lazarowhike.blogspot.com/   …..    'Gib A Kuk’….  Argentina ‘Kyk weer’ from 2018…… “Lest we forget, we thought of recapturing photographs from earlier hiking trips while focusing on either a single country or when appropriate, a single state or region. While we won't cry for Argentina, we certainly would consider returning to this beautiful land.

 

The E-mazing Coffee Table book, ‘The Road through the Grove’, which calls back the past, of the history from the Johannesburg Drive In along the BIG LB 

(Louis Botha Avenue) to Hillbrow, and anything on either side from Highlands North High to KES, very few copies left, and I am selling them at R500 in the Johannesburg area and will get them delivered to you….. Don’t miss this E-mazing book…. What a gift!!!!!!!!!  Drop me an E-mail at smookler@netactive.co.za    … The stocks are running low, soooo don’t wait…….…. …. Need to send 4 books to Irvine, California or somewhere nearby…. ??

 

Yesterday I got very irritated . My neighbours dog was barking at everyone 

that walked past his house. I went and complained but all he said to me was 

‘’What else could you expect from a cross -breed dog ?’'

 

A wonderful thing happened to me this morning .

When I got into the shower I started singing until I got soap in my mouth.

Then my singing changed into a soap opera .

 

Joan and Mike were watching a movie on television when he asked her .

‘Do you think the excitement and romance has gone out of our marriage?’’

Joan replied. ‘’ I will discuss it with you during the next commercial break .’'

 

During a electrical storm in Melbourne , the electricity pole outside s school

was hit by a electric strike and all the electricity went off while the students 

while writing their final exams .

The students were ‘’Delighted ‘'

 

Why did Eve swap her fig leaf for a bunch of flowers .?

Because she wanted to wear bloomers .! 

 

Is it true that an ARCHAEOLOGIST is the best husband a woman can have. ?

The older she gets the more interested he gets interested in her .

 

Eli is a Genealogist of note…Eli Rabinowitz – 'Gib A Kuk' at his blog… https://elirab.me/about/     ……. E-mazing news from 'Der Heim’s' & The 'Beloved Country' … Doing what he does best ….Everything …

Eli’s updates ….. https://www.facebook.com/elirab1    

Eli’s latest project is “The in my Pocket” project ….. https://docs.google.com/.../1sQAVq314pl1Y0TFRPR3W.../edit  … Eli is travelling around the UK, and has some E-mazing pictures of his adventures …and is now in Der Heim “Lithuania” …a dream trip….. LUVLY picture of them in Riga… 

https://www.stantgsm.com/category/pictures/4 

 

The Bnei Akiva campers left for camp this week, and there was GR8888 excitement……Not sure how they went so early as schools only finish this week….

On Social media the usual questions about Tro’mmel’s’, One minute soup, what to take,  etc….. I think it’s a big turnout this year…… Its at their Regular spot in Mossel Bay (Hartenbos)

 

Julio Woznica, a very special tour guide, speaking many languages….. and his Soweto Tours are legendary…. 082-654 4888  http://stantgsm.com/search/julio         

Contact ; Juliowoz1@gmail.com              +27 82 65 44 888 …Virtual Tour ………  

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1g-fU4u5arkrC7zsQvl-SuL43GM3xqKEo/view   ...   Julio also doing Day Safaris tours now…..

 

Sue Lyons has more than 30 years’ experience teaching all grades, language, literature and creative writing and teaches TEFL (English as a foreign language). …. Sue also runs Engleeeeesh classes……. Who knows, the Good Shabbos letter might become more refined. Contact Sue at ; suzannelyons625@gmail.com …….. Mobile; 082 8511510

 

A few useful definitions…………………….

Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool on the other.

Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power 

Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.

Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on. 

Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.

Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life. 

Miser ( Peruvian) : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Father: A banker provided by nature.

Divorce: Future tense of marriage.

Criminal : A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught. 

Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after. 

Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

Sweater :  garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.

 

I must point out the following; When sending large lists of e-mails, the chances of providers blocking them are Great…..The next problem is the letters get spammed, and go into the spam/reject/ Junk files….If you don’t receive the letter, please look in the spam/Junk file….

IF NOT THERE, just click on https://www.stantgsm.com/newsletter  

and it has the current letter and past letters also….

The 6000 Chabad-Lubavitch Emissaries from around the world gathered for the International Conference of Chabad Lubavitch Emissaries, the Kinus Hashluchim.in New York, which takes place every year….Rabbi Osher Deren delivered a Dvar Torah at the world's largest annual Kosher sit-down catered dinner will be taking place as over 1,500 guests will be joining 5,000 Chabad Shluchim, at their annual Gala Banquet in NYC. You can join the proceedings at www.TheShul.co.za/Live. Rabbi Oshy Deren is the Rov of the West Coast Chabad in Tableview/Bloubergstrand, Slaaaaaaapstad …. His Father in Law is Rabbi ‘Yossy’ Goldman who sends me the Vort every week…. Shakeach … Pictures ; https://www.stantgsm.com/category/pictures/4 ...I see the ‘Mayor of Melbourne’ Stan Gordon was also there for the 3/4th time…Shakeach…. And Gecelter came from Israel, was in the Army with his Dad Jules ‘Amolikke Yoren’ 

"My wife was about to file for a divorce when she read the article in your paper about the importance of giving second chances in making a marriage work. 

So she changed her mind about the divorce.

 Effective today, cancel my subscription to your paper!!" (OY………………………VY)

 

A priest once asked a Rabbi "what is Wal-Mart"

The Rabbi answered "It's the closest Jews will ever get to retail"

Kathy's 5-year-old developed a strong interest in spelling once she learned to spell STOP. 

After that, she tried to figure out her own words. From the back seat of the car she'd ask, 

"Mom, what does FGRPL spell?"

"Nothing," Kathy said.

Sitting at breakfast she'd suddenly ask, "Mom, what does DOEB spell?"

"Nothing," Kathy answered.

This went on for several weeks. Then one afternoon as they sat colouring in her room she asked, "Mom, what does LMDZ spell?"

Kathy smiled at her and said, "Nothing, sweetheart."

The 5-year-old carefully set down her crayon, sighed and said, 

"Boy, there sure are a lot of ways to spell Nothing!"  ( Ja / Neeeeeeeeeee…).

 

‘GOKO’ Safaris offer Kosher Safaris Tanya & David Libesman are the Originators of the Tours when they take all the hassle out of Booking/Air tickets etc, and of course arrange for a Kosher Chef to accompany the Tour….. In Hoedspruit (has an Airfield) Devorah & Jesse Lemmer are there to do the finer details….. info@gokosafari.com

 

Last week I said that the only way ‘Young Julius’ can keep a float is to Make Grooooooooot Kak, just for the sake of it….and this week, , EFF leader Julius Malema said he had instructed his party’s lawyers to go after Zuma's homestead….Mzwanele Manyi, uMkhonto weSizwe (MK) Party member of Parliament, says it would be difficult to attach party leader Jacob Zuma’s Nkandla homestead over unpaid legal fees….. Addressing EFF supporters outside the Constitutional Court in Johannesburg on Tuesday, 26 November, Malema said they are not going to play nice and more (Sic) and he referred to Zuma’s MK party as enemy # 1…..Going forward, ‘Young Julius’ will get as much attention as he can, flogging a dead horse…… and that is the Young Julius’ style……. Methinks eventually the EFF will just fall away, OR join Zuma’s MK party….stranger things have happened……. He had referred to Zuma’s MK Party as its number one enemy as prominent party leaders have ditched the EFF to join the Zuma-led party.

“All the cases we won against Jacob Zuma, he never paid the legal fees. Zuma is owing us legal fees, we’ve got an order that he must pay us our money because we defeated him in court. Now, he has not complied with the order to pay our money..”

The ‘Hut’ (Nkandla) is on tribal land, soooo they can’t take it away….. Snooookered!!!

 

I'm not a paranoid, deranged millionaire. God dammit, I'm a billionaire. Howard Hughes
After the game, the King and the pawn go into the same box. Italian proverb
Men are like linoleum floors. Lay 'em right and you can walk all over them for thirty years. 

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing

The best cure for sea sickness is to sit under a tree.
Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke ( Mmmmmmmmmm…)

If life were fair, Elvis would still be alive today and all the impersonators would be dead

The first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone. 

If God had intended us to fly, he would have made it easier to get to the airport.

Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day………………………………….

Give him religion and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish.

 

A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office. Suddenly, he feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders, back, and neck. The lawyer turns around.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?"
"I'm a chiropractor, and I'm just keeping in practice while I'm waiting in line."
"Well, I'm a lawyer, but you don't see me screwing the guy in front of me, do you?" 

 

Anyone going to Toronto in the next few weeks that could take an envelope across, preferably from Cape Town let me know…. smookler@netactive.co.za 

 

Minsker the Shlepper”… Paul Minsker has been singing in the Sandton Shul choir, and he does ‘Shlepping’ ….Besides Airport runs, Sun City etc., he also does ‘Shlepping’ of confidential documents…… 083-5426480 see https://www.stantgsm.com/view-post/pauls%20driver%20service/8242’      

 

An old man and woman were married for many years. Whenever there was a confrontation, yelling could be heard deep into the night. The old man would shout,

 "When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!"

Neighbours feared him. The old man liked the fact that he was feared.

To everyone's relief, he died of a heart attack when he was 98. 

His wife had a closed casket at the funeral. 

After the burial, her neighbours, concerned for her safety, asked 

"Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way out of the grave and haunt you for the rest of your life?"

The wife said, "Let him dig. I had him buried upside down. 

And I know he won't ask for directions." ( Einaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah…………………..).

 

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year

I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.

My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery ……people would stop dying.

Money can't buy you happiness ... But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery

And the cardiologist's diet:  If it tastes good, spit it out!

 

As I mentioned, give Fay Arluk a call if you need a Tombstone….. Contact Fay @  bobbifayarluk@gmail.com      or call her on 082-4899054 or 011-4850511  http://www.stantgsm.com/category/info/15 

 

My neighbour was working in his yard when he was startled by a late model car that came crashing through his hedge and ended up in his front lawn.

He rushed to help an elderly lady driver out of the car and sat her down on a lawn chair.

"My goodness," he said with excitement, "you appear quite elderly to be driving."

"Well, yes, I am," she replied proudly.  "I'll be 97 next month, and I am now old enough that I don't even need a driver's license anymore.  

The last time I went to my doctor, he examined me and asked if I had a driver's license.  

I told him yes and handed it to him.  He took scissors out of the drawer, cut the license

into pieces, and threw them in the wastebasket, saying, 

'You won't be needing this anymore,' so I thanked him and left!"  ( Bittere gelechte….)

 

Get your online copy of the Jewish Report 

https://www.sajr.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/2024-12-06_compressed.pdf  or @ your Local Shopkella’s…  ….  Anyone wanting to join their mailing list …     https://bit.ly/jrmailinglistsignup .....

 

The Yiddish show on Chai FM 101.9 …….. Every Thursday from 10am to 11am.

Featuring the 3 Kaplan’s Ronnie Kaplan, Hylton Kaplan and Shoshana Kaplan and Judy Moritz …..…..…. All 4 are very well known in the community

 

Putin said to the crowd. ‘’ If you do not believe in me ruling the country keep your mouths shut. If you believe in oral sex, keep your mouths open. 

 

Supper time is when all of the family sit down to continue talking on their cell phones.

 

Michael was telling his golfing friends on Sunday.

‘’ Things turned really ugly at my house last night.

My wife removed all her make up ‘'

 

Did you know that Eve was the first woman who ever took a man’s side .?

 

During the 100 metres race at the World’s Athletics Championship.

An African ,an Asian , an American  and an Australian all ended getting shot by a 

Englishman  using the starting pistol. 

The authorities have confirmed that the incident was not race related.

Lionel was rushed to the Monash Clinic after accidentally swallowing some 

Scrabble tiles.

The doctor told him that when he goes to the toilet it could spell disaster.

 

Some real damaging information coming out, about how Souff Effrikka was financed to kick off the Court case at the International Court….. Iran has supposedly poured huge money into the ANC/Government and has been encouraging its Souff Effrikken Chavers to carry on and on……. About R2b soooo far, and its only just began….. And it seems that the tide is starting to turn, with good ‘ol Donald threatening the Bric’s group (mainly hostile to the West) that he could impose 100% tariff hikes…. Souff Effrikka is of course a GROOOOOT supporter of Brics…. Another off spring of this Mishugus, has been the trashing of Sooliman, founder of Gift of the Givers……. When things start turning, its E-mazing what turns up ….A good Chaver sent me a quick read, and it is VERY ‘Skrikky’ ….as Sooliman has been a Saint up to now with Worldwide fame….. "Apparently you follow Koranic law only, “not international law or any human law” and that “Allah himself” has instructed you. You admitted to breaking the (human) law “all the time” – and that you know “how to move cash”. Despite your rejection of international law, you lobbied support for South Africa’s genocide case against Israel at the International Court of Justice……German authorities closed your organization down in 2002. The US banned it outright by executive order in 2003 as a “Specially Designated Global Terrorist Entity”, describing the foundation as “a critical part of Hamas’ transnational terrorist support infrastructure”. The UK, the EU, German, Australia, and the UAE have similarly banned the foundation. These actions were based on evidence that the Al-Aqsa Foundation was funnelling money collected for charitable purposes to Hamas." 

So see, Mr Sooliman, no matter how flippant you try to be, your entanglement in terrorism is well documented and as such, you and you organization will forever be tainted in the eyes of normal, law abiding people. You can whitewash all you want with your fake philanthropic excuses, as at heart, you are merely a terrorist organization, masquerading as a do-gooder farce.”

 

Myron Michel’s is the new Shlepper on the Block, doing lifts to anywhere ….Contact Myron on 082-3273686 and e-mail ; See

https://www.stantgsm.com/category/info/15 for details......

 

Some Lekker ‘Lags’ @  https://www.stantgsm.com/category/jokes/5 

 

"My ancestry goes back all the way to Alexander the Great," said Christine. 

She then turned to Miriam and asked, "How far back does your family go?"  

"I don't know," replied Miriam, "all of our records were lost in the flood."

 

DEFINITION OF GEFILTE FISH. 

''AN ANIMAL WITHOUT A HEAD OR TAIL WHICH LIVES ON HORSE RADISH

 

A very pleasant Rabbi was upset by the fact that one of his friends and golfing companion invariable always beat him at golf. 

His friend who was an elderly retiree said to the Rabbi. 

‘’ Do not take it too hard. You will win in the end.

You will probably be burying me one of these days.’'

The Rabbi replied. ‘’ I guess, but even then it will your hole. ‘’

 

Chappies……. Did U know ………. ?????

http://stantgsm.com/view-post/chappies%20 %20fascinating%20story/5408

Barry Hilton does the ‘Chappies’ Shpiel…… https://youtu.be/LlDAhw0LFpY

The useful life of a modern toilet is 50 years

85% of plant life is found in the ocean

 

FOR the MOST 'Jacked up' 'Yiddisher' Wedding registry, 'Gib A Kuk'   at;        www.binuns.co.za        …… Online Helpdesk … 0861 772 665 …

 

Happy birthday to my old Chaver, Louise Masele who celebrates her birthday today….Many more in good health….Louise was at my Bris in Lichtenberg 72 years ago, and her Late Dad Dave & my Bobba came from the same village in Der Heim….. The biggest co-incidence is that Louise shared the 5th of December with my Late Mom “ Flamming Freda’ who would have turned 100 today…..Many more ‘Katzka’….

 

Happy 80th birthday to Brian Feinstein….Brian has been a member @ Sydenham Shul for over 50 years, and has been a member of their choir and still is….. Brian is a special Guy, and always ready to assist…. See him often as he is a Mishgiach at Riva Flax Caterers….. Brian also worked at the Pie Works for many, many years … Many more in good health Brian…..

 

Mazeltov to my ‘Cuzzies’ in Atlanta, Michelle (Weitzman) & Mike Kerem who celebrate their wedding anniversary tomorrow….Many more in Good health and Mazzies for the Good news….. Michelle is the daughter of my Late Stan & Pete partner Sarge and her Mom Jen stays in Joburg….. Mike’s parents are also still in Joburg, Hedy & Benny Kerem…… Mazeltov

 

Mazeltov to the Sacke & Breger families on the Chasene of Loren & Justin Breger…..in Slaaaaaaapstad ….. Many of the family flew in from around the World to share their Simcha…….. Loren’s Aunt Lynn is married to my old Stan & Pete waiter Harvey Mannie, and Harvey’s Late Mom Louise was the secretary of the Jewish Guild when I got there in 1975….. Did many Simcha’s for the Breger family, and knew Late Sid well….Stayed in Cyrildene ‘Amolikke Yoren’…..Mazeltov to Bobba Taube Sacke and the whole Mishpocha….

 

Sincere condolences to the Chaitowitz family on the loss of their Beloved Ruth….. Remember when they were in Germiston…… Condolences to Dr Lex…….. Ruth was a quite soft spoken person….. Sincere condolence to family & friends…. 

 

Sincere condolences to the Krost family on the loss of their Beloved Cecil…. Cecil did a lot of business with us when he was at Krost Brotehrs and I remember doing a massive Church opening in Zuurbekom (Lenz) and Cecil supplied the 5,000 chairs…. Condolences to Colin, Stacey and Stephen and Cecil’s Schvester Rachelle & Lenard Lever….Cecil’s wife Barbara passed away a month ago…. Condolences to the massive Krost family & friends….

 

Sincere condolences to the Segal family on the tragic passing of their Beloved Anthony…. I go back many years when I was at Crossroads school & I met Anthony there (40)and he promised me that when he grows up he will come back and coach Sokka at school with Herson, and then he came and worked with us at Stan & Pete and finally ended up being a partner to my niece Melissa…. Sincere condolences to his Mom Gail who taught at King David Linksfield for many years, brother & sister and his 2 sons…. Very tragic, may he rest in peace….. He Tukka had a good Neshoma…… 

 

Please note that I only list Yidden who have passed away, that I know, and the Chevra Kadisha offer a list of daily burials & Unveilings, which lists all people passing away….. Click on the link, and you will have all the details……

https://jhbchev.co.za/funerals-unveilings/             The Chev has introduced a way for you to visit your loved ones graves https://jhbchev.co.za/search-graves/

BEST PRICES ON TOP QUALITY BEDS, APPLIANCES AND FURNITURE. CONTACT THEM FOR THE BEST PRICE AND ADVICE ……… IDEAL FURNISHERS MIDWAYS MALL 280 CORLETT DRIVE BRAMLEY GARDENS

NATHAN FINE & AND MENDEL MEYER AND THEIR FAMILY WISHES ALL THEIR FRIENDS a GOOD SHABBOS …. PHONE 011 887 5456 ….  011 614 1351


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MANTIS SECURITY TIP (Call 011- 487-1000 for any assistance) of the week

FOR ANY EMERGENCY, SUSPICIOUS ACTIVITY OR POTENTIAL THREATS SPECIFICALLY RELATED TO THE JEWISH COMMUNITY OR JEWISH INSTALLATIONS, CONTACT THE CSO ON 0861 8000 18

MANTIS SECURITY TIP (Call 011- 487-1000) of the week..

  • Security Tips for the Festive Season

  • The holiday season is peak time for travelling and entertainment.

  • Unfortunately, for businesses who are keen to maximise a bumper

  • spending season, it is also often peak season for criminals.

  • Make sure your business is protected and prepared for any potential criminal attacks.

  • Typically, there is a spike in armed robberies over the holiday season as consumers tend to indulge. 

  • So, by spotting danger zones in and around your business premises, you can better prepare for any damages to your business. It is crucial to inspect your building from top to bottom before the season begins.

  • Lighting
    Be sure to light up all points of entry, including the roof. Good lighting eliminates shadows, which burglars use for cover. Consider motion sensor lights or floodlights and leave lights on inside, just as you would do at home.

  • Locks
    You want the very best locks to secure doors, windows, skylights and other openings. 
    Change locks regularly and use deadbolts where you can. Of course, no lock is completely burglar-proof, but the longer criminals struggle to get in, the longer you have to take action.

  • Alarm system
    Inspect your alarm system and educate your staff on the proper use of the system – where panic buttons are located, how to arm the alarm when they leave, and important phone numbers to know. Post warnings in clear view that your business is being monitored 24/7.

  • Protect your business from flooding and bad weather

  • Security doesn’t take a holiday

Be ‘Wakker’ & ‘StreetwiZe’ all the time…………

Call; MANTIS @ (011- 487-1000) for advice and sign up and discuss it with their experienced staff.

Have a peaceful, restful Shabbos...From Stan and the Clan
Smookler@netactive.co.za 
Eerbare Makelaaaaaar van Suid Afrika ………
Cell- 082-4547860
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Parsha of The Week 

Rabbi Emeritus 'Yossy Goldman,’                                                                                BH  C/O Sydenham Shul,

Sermonette Vayetze 

                                        Marriage Tips from Jacob?

                                   Taking a leaf out of the old book.

 

They say, “The definition of a successful man is one who can earn more than his wife can spend. And the definition of a successful woman is one who can find such a man!”

 

It’s over a thousand years since polygamy was prohibited in Jewish life. One can only wonder how they managed it once upon a time. Today, we have difficulty satisfying one spouse. How on earth did they handle multiple marriage partners?

This week in Vayetze, (Genesis 28-32) we read of Jacob going off to Haran to find a wife. In the end, due to his father-in-law Laban’s deceptiveness, he ends up with two wives, Rachel and Leah; and as the story unfolds, with another two as well, Bilhah and Zilpah. Remarkably, over the next 20 chapters as we follow the long life of Jacob, we only find one argument that he had with Rachel. When she complained that she was suffering from infertility, he exclaimed, “Am I G-d? Have I deprived you of offspring?” If the Torah only mentions one incident of marital strife in all the decades of Jacob’s life that is quite a tribute to his success in handling his marriage with four wives. 

 

Today, most of us struggle with a single marriage partner. 

When times are tough, the tough get going…out of the house! Too many men and women leave their marriages because of the pressures of life in our contemporary milieu. We may well live in the most affluent society in all of history, but the expectations are unreasonably high and the standards we are expected to emulate are often beyond our reach.

 

SHE: “My husband is a shlemiel, a shlemazel, a jerk, or in the immortal words of Donald Trump, a “loser!” I’m telling you; I should have married my first boyfriend! He’s made a success of his life.”

HE: “And if you would only be a little more supportive, we could have been managing a lot better. From you I get no support. Only bills!”

 

Often marriages that are basically sound and solid take serious strain over financial stress.

 

There are whole pages in the Talmud Megillah (27b-28a) recording some of the conversations between some of the great sages who were blessed with long lives and their students, “Rabbi, how did you merit longevity?” the students asked. Each venerable rabbi gave his own suggestion as to what special practice he was scrupulous with which may have been the righteous deed that earned him a long life. 

The answers of these great sages ranged from the sublime to the simple. One said, “I never gained honour from the humiliation of a colleague.” Another said he was always the first one to the House of Study. A third said he never used the Synagogue as a shortcut. Some of them are more notable than others. But the one that most impressed me was Rabbi Zeira who said, “In all my days I never got angry at home.” Wow! If any of all those good practices deserves long life, surely that’s the one. How I wish I could say that of myself!

 

During the Cold War between the Soviet Union and the United States, a popular slogan stressing the need for cool, calm, and rational heads on both sides of the divide, was “Co-existence or no existence!” Basically, it warned us of the consequences were the cold war to get too hot. With nuclear bombs at the disposal of both sides, global obliteration, horrible as it may be, had to be contemplated.  

Co-existence is an imperative on the micro level too, in our personal lives and in our marriages. Open and honest communication between men and women is so critically important. 

 

Wouldn’t it be refreshing and helpful if a macho man might say, “Y’know honey, the business isn’t doing as well as it was. I could really use some more support, maybe even affection, these days.” And how many spouses, men and women, actively listen? And hear? There’s an old Jewish proverb: “Why did G-d give us two ears and one mouth? To listen twice as much as we speak.” 

 

Ceasefires seem to be the order of the day.  I appeal to warring marriage partners to call a ceasefire of their own and seek help and support from trusted professionals.  

We’re on the same team. These are times for families to pull together not to tear apart. Marriage counselling can and does work. There are excellent people in the helping professions in every community. Reach out to an honest broker. It may be a therapist, social worker, or rabbi. They are only too happy to help. I’ve seen many families with problems who addressed their problems and are today happier than ever.

 

Jacob loved and respected all his wives. We only have one significant other to deal with. May we follow the lead of our founding father and be blessed with long, happy marriages and healthy and harmonious families. 

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