23 March 2023
Celebrating 22 years!
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Dear All,


The Schvitz continues in the ‘Ou Transvaal’ and Methinks before Pesach, the weather will have cooled right down, with a REAL ‘Tzuk’ in the air…..Still managed a few very good ‘goefs’ on the weekend …..L-O-N-G weekend…..


The Tri nations ended superbly, with excitement up to the last few minutes of the last game…..

Scotland played Italy and it was again a tough game which Scotland won 26-14….Duhan Van Der Merwe again did the unthinkable, and scored an E-mazing try to give Ireland the lead …. And Scotland got a bonus for 4 tries….Even with Italy being at the bottom of the LOG, the crowds still arrived and filled the stadiums


A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie

He decides to test it out at dinner one night

The father asks his son what he did that afternoon

The son says:

"I did some schoolwork"

The robot immediately slaps the son

The son says:

"OK. OK. I was at a friend's house watching a movie"

His dad asks:

"What movie did you watch?"

The son says:

"Toy Story"

The robot slaps the son again

The son says:

"OK. OK. We were watching porn"

The dad says:

"What? At your age I didn't even know what porn was"

The robot slaps the father

The mother laughs and says:

"Well. He certainly is your son"

The robot slaps the mother

Robot for sale ( Old, BUT….A Classic….)


The French –Wales’s game was tight the first half, BUT….. Then the French opened up and it looked like English score coming, BUT somehow the Welsh kept the score line down to 41-28…..with Wales getting a few late tries…… The French look the most likely to get close to winning the World Cup later in the year, after their performances in the 6 Nations….. Don’t think Ireland will manage to win the world cup…..


The Engleeeeesh really came back, after last week’s Klap against the French…… The game was hard, and at some stages it looked like the Poms could take the game, BUT….it never happened as the Full Back Klapped a Shpieler with his elbow….Poor Jaco Peyper is being giving a rough time, BUT….it was not only his decision……. and Ireland won the Grand slam… See they have reversed the decision and Peyper will just fall away like many other good Refs…..


A police officer, though scheduled for all-night duty at the station, was relieved of duty early and arrived home four hours ahead of schedule, at 2 AM.

Not wanting to wake his wife, he undressed in the dark, crept into the bedroom and started to climb into bed.

She sleepily sat up and said, "Mike, dearest, would you go down to the all-night drug store on the next block and get me some aspirin? I've got a splitting headache."

"Certainly, honey," he said, and feeling his way across the room, he got dressed and walked over to the drug store.

As he arrived, the pharmacist looked up in surprise,

"Say," said the druggist, "aren't you Officer Fenwick of the 8th District?"

"Yes, I am," said the officer.

"Well, then, what in the world are you doing in the Fire Chief's uniform?"

(Bittere Gelechte…).


The Proteas somehow managed to lose the second test even though Kaptein Courageous Bavuma made 144 (and guarantees his place till retirement…Oy..vy) ..The 3rd and final decider of the 3 match series went well and at one stage looked like we would not get the total needed, BUT….Klaasens smacked the ball all over and it was a easy win in the end…..


Plenty Sokka action last week, when Manchester United beat Fulham 3-1 to reach the Cup semi-final against Brighton ….. Fulham were Tukka looking strong until a penalty handball caused a Riot on the Park and two Fulham Shpielers got RED cards and so did the coach….and Manchester took control and won 3-1….. Looks like a Manchester City-United Cup final….. ???? Arsenal’s 4-1 win against Crystal Palace puts them 8 ahead of the pack, and it really is looking like Arsenal for the league….. Spurs drew 3-3 against Southampton, which stopped them taking over United into 3 rd. place….

get their supply of Biltong, Droe Wors and other Souff Effrikken 'Gerichten' from the Biltong Guy www.1800biltong.com   …all products are ‘Glatt Kosher’ ( in separate area)…., and they have a wide variety of ‘Lekker’ Biltong/Wors details at     http://www.stantgsm.com/category/info/15  New Biltong supplier for the USofA


“All things are subject to interpretation. Whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth.” – Friedrich Nietzsche


"We do not see things as they are. We see things as we are." —  Talmud, Rabbi Shemuel ben Nachmani

“Jump, and you will find out how to unfold your wings as you fall.” — Ray Bradbury Candor and accountability in a democracy is very important. Hypocrisy has no place. ― Alan Dershowitz

"It is not only for what we do that we are held responsible, but also for what we do not do." ― Moliere

“A body of men holding themselves accountable to nobody ought not to be trusted by anybody.” ― Thomas Paine

It's amazing how much research has gone into making some of the worst decisions.  — Ashleigh Brilliant

A politician is a man who will double cross that bridge when he comes to it.  - Oscar Levant

“We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.” — Winston Churchill

“Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile.” —   Albert Einstein

“I don't know what your destiny will be, but one thing I do know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve.” —  Albert Schweitzer

"There is no power for change greater than a community discovering what it cares about." –  Margaret J. Wheatley

“Alone, we can do so little; together, we can do so much” – Helen Keller

“No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another.”   — Charles Dickens

“You have not lived today until you have done something for someone who can never repay you.” —  John Bunyan


Lay of the Land …. https://layoftheland.online/2023/03/19/lay-of-the-land-weekly-newsletter-19-march-2023/   …. News from ‘The Land of Milk & Honey’…& the World

Blues Brothers Knew How to Treat Nazis – YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0NkJXRckyMc&t=1s

The Late Jonny Gluck @ The Wolmarans Street Shul, posted by his brother Nathan.


Lovely passage on Souff Effrikken Jewry….very light ……… https://www.tabletmag.com/sections/community/articles/jewish-south-africa-rainbow-nation

The ‘Mother of All stay A ways’ came and went on Monday….Was it a success, depends on who you talk to …. It was not what was expected…..we were expecting the COPS to sit back again, and let the Mumzers do whatever they want….From early Monday morning, it was clear that the security forces were read the Riot act, and they went straight at the ‘Comrades’ and I think the Red Berets were shocked….. ‘Young Julius’ in his late speech on Monday, spoke very eloquently ,and spent such a long time explaining that burning Tyres was the Culture of protesters unique to Souff Effrikka…. His no fool, and by NOT arming his imp i’s with sticks, etc can know point a finger at the security forces who took strong action against the protesters…….. Speaks for hours without even a note to prompt him…..

He spoke about everything under the sun….and his analysis of a coup was so special…… As I said last week, the Mumzer chose a GR88888 day as half the ‘Wekkers’ would have stayed home anyway due to the long weekend , as Tuesday was a public holiday….and then , people with a Bissel Shiechel do not run around on a day like this….. The Little Red General is convinced he closed the country and he had a 100% success and he won….Personally I think no one won, BUT it showed one important thing, that the Buffalo was prepared to do something , eventually


Sarah was reading a newspaper, while her husband was engrossed in a magazine.  Suddenly, she burst out laughing. "Listen to this," she said.  "There's a classified ad here where a guy is offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium."

"Hmmm," her husband said, not looking up from his magazine.

Teasing him, Sarah said, "Would you swap me for a season ticket?"

"Absolutely not," he said.

"How sweet," Sarah said. "Tell me why not."

"Season's almost half over," he said. ( Einaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah….)


The ‘local’ Litvak Boychick Adv. Dainius Ambrazaitis will be visiting Johannesburg and Cape Town during March 24th to 30th. … More about the event can be found here: https://fb.me/e/AVG2H8kq

Convenient online registration form can be found here: https://bit.ly/3XbJ1w5

See; https://www.stantgsm.com/category/info/15 for more details

The 'Koppie' & Mountain climbers, Jeff & Jenni are still climbing every

'Koppie' & Mountain... and posting the most E-mazing Pichaaaaaa’s on their website  http://lazarowhike.blogspot.com/   …..    'Gib A Kuk’ Before posting their last Blog from Tasnarief, they have posted their last Blog from Arizona….  Arizona: Tonto National Forest: Los Osos: Cloud our lives with such beauty or we've literally 'looked at clouds from both sides now'.


Gambling...The Royal Marine Way………….

A 42 Commando Royal Marine Recce Troop captured a Taliban leader in Afghanistan and took him to a warehouse where they gave him a dice.

The Sergeant says, ''Roll the dice and if you get  a 1 2 3 4 or 5 your head comes off.''

The Taliban leader asks, ''What if I throw a 6?''

The Sergeant replies, "You get to throw again!" ( Ja/Neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee).


They have started a JNF SA Hiking Club….. Join the brand new JNFSA & Israel Centre Hiking Club and explore the beautiful trails around our city and beyond, together….The hiking club will meet once a month and we’ll have diverse range of hikes on offer, ranging from easy strolls for all ages to more challenging trails in the Magaliesberg. …..Each hike will include some environmental interpretation and historical background.

The first hike is on Sunday 26 March at Modderfontein Nature Reserve.

See http://www.stantgsm.com/category/info/15 for details....


I’m responsible for what I say, not what you understand.

Common sense is like deodorant.  The people who need it the most never use it.

It’s not my age that bothers me…………it’s the side effects.

I’m not saying I’m old and worn out, but I make sure I’m nowhere near the curb on rubbish day.

As I watch this generation try to rewrite our history, I’m sure of one thing….it will be misspelled and have no punctuation.

As I’ve gotten older, people think I’ve become lazy.  The truth is I’m just being more energy efficient.

I haven’t gotten anything done today.  I’ve been at the supermarket trying to open this stupid plastic bag.

Turns out that being a “senior” is mostly googling “how to do stuff”.

God promised men good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world.  Then he made the earth round ……….and laughed and laughed and laughed.

I’m on two diets, I wasn’t getting enough food on one.

My mind is like an internet browser.  At least 19 open tabs, three of them are frozen, and I have no clue where the music is coming from.

Hard to believe I once had a phone attached to a wall, and when it rang, I picked it up without knowing who was calling.

Apparently “RSVPing” to a wedding invitation “Maybe next time” isn’t the correct response.

She says I keep pushing her buttons.  If that were true, I would have found mute by now.

There is no such thing as a grouchy old person.  The truth is that once you get old, you stop being polite and start being honest.


Yiddisher Swimmers featured prominently at this year’s 38th S.A. Long Course Masters Swimming Championships, which took place from 15-18th March, at the Van Riebeeck Swimming Pool in Mbombela.

The event is held annually at different venues around the country in a 50m Olympic Standard Pool under SSA & Fina Rules. It is a highlight of the competitive swimmer’s sporting calendar. This year it attracted some 321 swimmers from 17 Clubs throughout South Africa, as well as International representation.

Masters swimming starts from the age of 18 till any age and is swum in categories of 5-year age groups. Although very competitive with top swimmers and several ex-Olympians competing, its also about Fun, Fitness and Fellowship, with the Primary motivation being to enjoy the benefits of leading a healthy lifestyle.

The following Yiddisher swimmers medalled in individual events this year :-

Chavah Aberman (25-29)   Silver    400 & 800 Free, Bronze 100 & 200 Free.

Cliff Garrun (65-69) Silver     50 & 100 Free,    Bronze 200 Free

Joel Finn (60-64) Gold 400 & 800 Free,  Silver 200 Free & 200 IM,

Bronze 200 Breast

Linda Crawford (70-74) Gold 200 Fly,  Silver 100 Fly,  Bronze 50 Fly

Marissa Rollnick (70-74) Silver 100,200,400,800Free,  Silver 400IM,

Bronze 50 Free.

Mervyn Miller (70-74)  Bronze  50 & 100 Backstroke

Mike Neu-Ner (75-79) Gold 100Fly & 200IM,  Silver 50 Fly

Russel Wolpe (85-89) Gold 50,100,200,400,800 Free & 200 Breast.. Wow Russell

Quite E-mazing…..Picture ; https://www.stantgsm.com/category/pictures/4


A guy goes into a store and tells the clerk:

"I’d like some Polish sausage"

The clerk looks at him and says:

"Are you Polish?"

The guy is clearly offended and says:

"Well. Yes I am. But let me ask you something

If I had asked for Italian sausage would you ask me if I was Italian?

Or if I had asked for German bratwurst would you ask me if I was German?

Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish?

Or if I had asked for a taco would you ask if I was Mexican?

Would ya huh? Would ya?"

The clerk says:

"Well. No"

With deep self-righteous indignation, the guy says:

"Well. All right then

Why did you ask me if I’m Polish just because I asked for Polish sausage?"

The clerk replies:

"Because this is Joshua Doore furniture ????" (Eishhhhhhh…)


The E-mazing Coffee Table book, ‘The Road through the Grove’, which calls back the past, of the history from the Johannesburg Drive In along the BIG LB

(Louis Botha Avenue) to Hillbrow, and anything on either side from Highlands North High to KES, very few copies left, and I am selling them at R500 in the Johannesburg area and will get them delivered to you….. Don’t miss this E-mazing book…. What a gift!!!!!!!!!  Drop me an E-mail at smookler@netactive.co.za     … The stocks are running low, soooo don’t wait…….….


Eli is a Genealogist of note…Eli Rabinowitz – 'Gib A Kuk' at his blog… https://elirab.me/about/     ……. E-mazing news from 'Der Heim’s' & The 'Beloved Country' … Doing what he does best ….Everything  … https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=pfbid08bTNrX4zUU8okfpboR8srdp6upus9uTBERu7aSi2q1D5KeFXy4GTKzqbj1dae2ihl&id=641141069&mibextid=5zvaxg

A Traffic cop pulled a Free State farmer over for speeding.

The farmer pleaded that he wasn't much over the speed limit.

But the cop continued to slowly write out the ticket.

He brushed a fly off his face.

The farmer said, "That sirkelgogga bothering you?"

The cop said, "What's a sirkelgogga?"

The farmer said, "That fly - they circle a horse's back side and we call them sirkelgoggas."

The cop stopped writing, looked at the farmer, and said,

"Are you trying to say I'm a horse's @ss?"

The farmer said, "Never! I have a great respect for officers of the law."

The cop carried on writing.

After a while the farmer said… "But you can't fool those flies." (Einaaaaaaah..)


The Jerusalem Marathon last week was again a huge success with runners from all over the World coming to join and, and the various distances made it easier for the not so fit Yidden ti still enter ..Many of the Souff Effrikken runners (large Group) did it for various charities to raise much needed funds….


Minsker the Shlepper”… Paul Minsker has been singing in the Sandton Shul choir, and he does ‘Shlepping’ ….Besides Airport runs, Sun City etc., he also does ‘Shlepping’ of confidential documents…… 083-5426480 see https://www.stantgsm.com/view-post/pauls%20driver%20service/8242


Get your online copy of the Jewish Report @ https://www.sajr.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/2023-03-24_b.pdf or at your Local Shopkella…


The Selwyn Segal Gift Shoppe is open for ‘Pesachdikke gifts’…. Pop in and see the huge display of gifts available from Platter to Taiglach and everything in between…..

If you keep your feet firmly planted on the ground, you’ll have trouble putting on your pants.


Some one-liners to think about……

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

When I married Mr. Right, I had no idea his first name was “Always”.

My wife got 8 out of 10 on her driver’s test – the other two guys managed to jump out of her way.

There may be no excuse for laziness, but I’m still looking.

Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

Is it wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly?

Women sometimes make fools of men, but most guys are the do-it-yourself types.

I was going to give him a nasty look, but he already had one.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

The grass may be greener on the other side but at least you don’t have to mow it.

I like long walks, especially when they’re taken by people who annoy me.

I was going to wear my camouflage shirt today, but I couldn’t find it.

If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.

If tomatoes are technically a fruit, is ketchup a smoothie?

Money is the root of all wealth.

No matter how hard you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.



Sydenham Shul have a Pre-Pesach musical Experience, renowned singer Yudi Cohen joins Sydenham’s Chazan Moshe Lichtenstein for a musical journey of growth and renewal with Broadway and Operatic showpieces, as well as some Pesach favourites. Wednesday, 29 March, Sydenham Community Centre, 7:00pm, tickets are R100 –booking details. https://www.stantgsm.com/category/info/15


Intelligent Answers

Wife, "Tell me who is STUPID ? You or Me?"_

Husband (Calmly), "Everyone knows that, you are so intelligent, you will never marry a STUPID person."…..What a decent way to Reply!*


Wife to her Accountant Husband

What is Inflation?

Husband*: Earlier you were 36-24-36._

But now you are 48-40-48.

Though you have everything bigger than before, your value has become less than before.


This is INFLATION ……

Economics is not that difficult if we have the right examples.

Interviewer: What is Recession

Candidate*: When "Wine & Women" get replaced by "Water & Wife", that critical phase of life is called Recession!!


Accountancy Fact

What is the difference between Liability & Asset?

A drunken Friend is a liability._

But,.... A drunken Girlfriend is an Asset._


An Economist beautifully explained two reasons for having 2 Wives.

Monopoly should be broken.

Competition improves the quality of service.

If u have 1 wife, She fights with u!

If u have 2 wives, They will fight for you!!


Wonders before and after Marriage. _When you are in love,_

Wonders happen.

But once you get married,

You wonder, what happened.


Philosophy of Marriage

At the beginning, every wife treats her husband as G-D..

Later, somehow don't know why.......alphabets get reversed..


Secret formula for Married Couples...

"Love One Another"_

And if it doesn't work, bring the last word in the middle.!!!!


My old Chaver Alan Brener, an expat Chartered Accountant in public practice based in Sydney Australia, will be in Johannesburg between 27 and 30 March 2023 and Cape Town between 3 and 14 April 2023 and will be available to consult with anyone who would like to discuss Australian tax related matters. Alan is a Chartered Tax Advisor, a member of the Tax Institute of Australia, and has a large expat South African client base. He can be contacted at alan@integrapartners.com.au  or +61 416041180 (www.integrapartners.com.au ) …. he knows the Tax laws back ward…


The Yiddish show on Chai FM 101.9 …….. Every Thursday from 10am to 11am. …. Featuring he 3 Kaplan’s Ronnie Kaplan, Hylton Kaplan and Shoshana Kaplan …..…. All 3 are very well known in the community


The JWBS book sale 26 March.  All books R30 …. It is being held at the Genesis Shopping Centre in Glenhazel…. See http://www.stantgsm.com/category/info/15 ..Its this Sunday


Both sides are of course claiming victory, and Methinks that ‘ Young Julius’ has been caught out properly ….. His claims that he actually shut down Souff Effrikka are totally not true….Yes, he put fear into ALL of us ….. BUT never got close to shutting down the country …… I reckon that NUM and their Chavers manged to get double/triple the amount of marchers and reliable E-fundi’s reckon that there were most probably only about 30,000 who came out and most were bused in and given

Tea shirts ….. Reckon by next week, we will be onto the next fraud/theft episode

https://www.news24.com/news24/politics/political-parties/fact-check-eff-claims-its-protest-the-most-successful-shutdown-in-sa-history-20230321 The only problem is that they have to squash the Mumzer once and for all …… Look at De Ruyter ….soooo much fury, and it is a forgotten story already…..will they try and find the Billion $$$ man …. Never……!!!! De Ruyter must not come back to SA as whistle Blowers are the enemies of the State & the Gunovim…. This week a Father & son were taken out in what is believed to be a ‘Hit’….They were working on cases involving ‘graft’…  https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-65007942


A Rabbi very fond of his cherry brandy was given a case on condition that he

Acknowledged this gift from the pulpit,

On Friday night he did so. ‘’

I wish to thank Mr. Levy for his kindly gift of fruit and the spirit it was given in. ‘


A visitor from Chelm goes into a shoe shop in Tel Aviv to buy shoes.

Trying on a pair of shoes he tells the salesman that they are too tight.

The salesman suggests.’’ Try them with the tongue out’’

The Chelmic sticks his tongue out and says. ‘’ Makes no difference .’'


The Cape Carnival took place on Sunday and they had over 1500 people in floats & dressed up on the streets ….was like a mini Rio carnival … looked very nice…



The King David Schools 75th Anniversary which coincides with Israel’s 75th Anniversary started last week, with Donors being invited to the School….They will still have more celebrations planned during the year Pictures;



Mr. Cohen walks along the street accompanied by his dog when he meets Mr. Levy.

They exchange the usual niceties and then Mr. Levy asks: ..

"Mr. Cohen, tell me, does your dog bite?"

Mr. Cohen replies: "No, my dog doesn't bite."

A few minutes pass and suddenly the dog grabs Mr. Levy’s ankle, who jumps from pain.

Mr. Levy blurts: "Mr. Cohen, you told me that your dog doesn't bite."

Mr. Cohen replies calmly: "Yes, my dog doesn't bite, but who says that this is my dog!"


As I mentioned, give Fay Arluk a call if you need a Tombstone….. Contact Fay @  bobbifayarluk@gmail.com     or call her on 082-4899054 or 011-4850511  http://www.stantgsm.com/category/info/15


The Libesman’s from the USofA, David & Tanya (ex Pats) have started a Kosher Bush Safari called GOKO, and with the Lemmer family based in Hoedspruit hope to be able to offer the BEST in Kosher Safari’s….. See details @ https://www.stantgsm.com/category/pictures/4


Some lekker ‘Lags’ @ http://www.stantgsm.com/category/jokes/5


Chappies……. Did U know ……….

http://stantgsm.com/view-post/chappies%20 %20fascinating%20story/5408

Barry Hilton does the ‘Chappies’ Shpiel…… https://youtu.be/LlDAhw0LFpY

You have over 600 muscles

Did you know that the doorbell was invented in 1831

If everyone on Earth sat in the ocean at once, how much would sea level rise?  The total rise in sea level would be about 0.00012 of an inch, or less than 1/1000th of an inch. If everyone completely submerged themselves, this would double the answer to 0.00024 inches, which is still only about the width of a human hair.  It turns out the oceans are enormous – and humans are just a drop in the bucket.


FOR the MOST 'Jacked up' 'Yiddisher' Wedding registry, 'Gib A Kuk'   at;        www.binuns.co.za   …… Online Helpdesk … 0861 772 665 … see



Mazeltov to Tanna (Collet) & Adam (Levin) on their Engagement this week…Mazzies to Romy & Errol Levin & Caron & Mike Collet …and to Grandparents Greta & Mervyn Fanaroff & Paul Collet…… Mike did video’s @ Simcha’s in my day, and we did many, many Simcha’s together…..and I know Tanna’s Zaida Teddy from Smithfield ……very well….Bought my Zunnelle Joel’s first Video camera from Teddy 25 years ago….. and have done many Simcha’s for the family…. Adam’s Grandparents are also well known to me having done Mervyn & Greta’s 4 daughters Chasene’s….. Errol’s Late Dad always used to Huck me that he knew my family when we were in Lichtenberg 60 years ago  …..What a small world…….. Mazeltov to the whole Mishpocha …. Picture; https://www.stantgsm.com/


Mazeltov to Erin Smith who got engaged to Joseph Miller…Mazzies to Marice & Laurence Smith and Bev & Larry Miller…. Know Larry for many years and wish the families Mazeltov and lots of health & happiness for the future…..


Mazeltov to Gabi (Farber) & Royi Cohen on their Chasene at the Sandton Shul…… Mazzies the Mandy (Moffson) & Ashley Farber and the Ganser Cohen Mishpocha….. What a ‘Lebbedikke ‘Chasene it was…. I did Mandy & Ashley’s Chasene ‘Amolikke Yoren’ and Mandy’s brother is the ‘Ohrsom’ Rabbi Shmuel Moffson…… Really lovely to see the families again…. The Marathon Man, Johnny Birin was the Band and the place was rocking ….Riva Flax did the Catering which was superb, and it was one of those Simcha’s that had E-mazing ‘Ruach’….. Mazeltov to the whole Mishpocha…. Pictures; https://www.stantgsm.com/


Mazeltov to Mandi & Jason Shapiro, on their Chasene @ Kirstenbosch in Slaaaaaaapstad … my niece went to the Chasene which was very nice …… There were a Minyan of Rabbi’s at the Chuppa …. Mazeltov to the whole Mishpocha;



Sincere condolences to the Gladstone family on the loss of their Beloved Alvin…. I knew Alvin for over 50 years, as the family stayed in Observatory and they were near my Cuzzies the Weitzman’s…. Alvin, with all his handicaps was a wonderful selfless soul, and only wanted to do good….. Sincere condolences to his Zunnelle Sidney who was a student @ Crossroads when I was there, and I remember my almost nightly calls from the family about Sidney….I was at Sidney’s Barmitzvah @ the Capri….. Sincere condolences to the whole family on the loss of a real Mensch….


Sincere condolences to the Lutrin family on the loss of their Beloved Anthony…. Was from the Victory Park area, and his Zunnelle married Sandra Collett’s daughter and they live in Vancouver…. Sincere condolences to the whole family….


Click on the logo for more information
MANTIS SECURITY TIP (Call 011- 487-1000 for any assistance) of the week


Always on the Prowl, looking for the Gunovim……..

  • I am E-mazed at how many reports there have been in the papers about Internet Fraud
  • The amounts have been huge for normal middle class citizen’s around the world
  • Business amounts are even more horrendous
  • What E-mazes me is how gullible people are…
  • Websites offering good cheap accommodation are ‘Gupping’ people every day.. Remember Easter is around the corner, and if a deal sounds craZy, it is Pasop….
  • Any offers online must be checked before transferring money, as the Gunovim open and close accounts as soon as there is enough ‘Geld’
  • The Nigerian 419 scams are also still Gupping people…
  • Never give your ‘Komputta’ passwords out to anyone, even if they SEEM genuine…confirm first
  • Think before you ink……

Be ‘Wakker’ & ‘StreetwiZe’ all the time…………

Call; MANTIS @ (011- 487-1000) for advice and sign up and discuss it with their experienced staff.

Have a peaceful, restful Shabbos...From Stan and the Clan
Eerbare Makelaaaaaar van Suid Afrika ………
Cell- 082-4547860
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Parsha of The Week 

Rabbi Yossy Goldman,’                                                                                BH    
Sydenham Shul,
C/O ‘Beloved Country’
Sermonette Vayikra

                                                      Identity Crisis

Amnesia is a frightening illness. Imagine forgetting who you are — suddenly you have no family, no history, and no identity. It can happen to an individual and it can happen to a people. There have been times in our history when we seemed to forget who we were and where we came from. And all too often, we seem uncertain about where we are going.

In the opening chapters of Vayikra - Leviticus, we read the expression Nefesh ki techeta — "when a person will sin." The Torah goes on to describe the various atonement offerings necessary to absolve one from their trespasses. The Kabbalistic classic, Zohar, renders this phrase both literally and spiritually. Nefesh is interpreted as not merely a person but a soul, and the verse is punctuated by a question mark. In other words, the Torah is asking Nefesh ki techeta? Shall a soul sin? Can a Jewish soul, a yiddishe neshamah, a spark of divinity, really and truly stoop to commit a lowly sin? How is that possible?

Indeed, the only way it can happen is when we forget who we are, when we are no longer in touch with our true spiritual identity, when we start to suffer from spiritual amnesia.

Sadly, it does happen. In fact, it's not really that difficult. After all, we live in a secular society. The old ghetto walls are no longer there to insulate us. We are exposed to the big wide world with all its seemingly tantalising diversions. Even if we do marry within the faith, we become culturally assimilated. Slowly but surely, then, even a nefesh, a Jewish soul, starts forgetting who she is and can fall into the web of sin.

Remember the "wise man" from Chelm and his problem? He worried that when he went to the public bathhouse where everyone is unclothed, he wouldn't know who he was. Without his own personal set of clothing to distinguish him from others, he might suffer an identity crisis. So he devised a plan. He tied a red string around his big toe so that even in the bathhouse he would stand out from everyone else. Sadly, when he was in the shower, the water and soapsuds loosened the red string, and it slipped off his big toe. To make matters worse, the red string floated along to the next cubicle and twirled around the big toe of the fellow under the next shower.

Suddenly, our Chelmer genius discovered that his string was gone. He started panicking. This was a serious identity crisis. Then he saw that the fellow next door was sporting his red string. Whereupon, he ran over to him and shouted, "I know who you are, but who am I?"

Who are you? You are a Jew! You are a son of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, a daughter of Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel and Leah. You are a member of the "kingdom of priests and holy nation." You were freed from Egypt and stood at Sinai. You have survived countless attempts on your life and your faith. You emerged from the ashes of Auschwitz only to live again. And you ask, "Who am I?" This is a serious case of national amnesia.

So the holy Zohar reminds us that we are not only "a person who may sin." We are a soul, and shall a soul sin? A soul is by definition part and parcel of the Divine. And for the G dly soul within us, distancing ourselves from our very source is absolutely unthinkable.

How else can we explain the phenomenon that after a century of Communist atheism, Jews in the Former Soviet Union are today fervently embracing the faith of their forefathers? Or that after decades of apathy, American Jews of all ages are desperately seeking spirituality? Or that the renaissance of Jewish life has become a reality around the globe? Yes, there are good people out there igniting sparks and fanning them into a fiery faith. But the sparks would not take if there was not a burning ember inside every Jewish soul, an ember that remains inextinguishable no matter what.

So if you ever have doubts about who you are, remember the Zohar. You are a soul. And a soul never dies.

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