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GOOD SHABBOS
24 November 2022

Celebrating 21 years!

Dear All,
 
The weather is Tukka strange in the ‘Ou Transvaal’ at the moment, with rain almost every day, followed by intense heat.
 
The 3rd week of the ‘Movember’ tests in Europe was quite E-mazing with some surprises …… The Bokke played Italy, who had just come off an E-mazing win over the Aussies…..The first half was tight, and the Italians kept the Bokke under check…… In the second half the Boks let rip and the end result was a lot of running Rugger and the Boks ended up winning 63-21 ….Quite E-mazing to watch the Boks actually running the ball instead of all ‘Skop & Hardloop’ rubbish that they have been playing the past few years….. They will have to tighten up against the Poms next week, BUT…..with this brand of Rugger they can get a good win at Twickenham…..
 
The shock of the weekend must be Georgia’s 31-12 win over the Welsh….How I don’t know, BUT…..They managed to do it…….. Incredible win….rates with Netherlands win against the Protea’s to knock the Protea’s out of the Cricket World Cup……
 
Gloria goes into a store to order some underwear with a message written across in front.
''I would like it to say. ‘’ If you can read this, you are too close. ‘’ says Gloria.
The salesman asks. ‘’ And what sort of lettering would you like?’'
Gloria says.’’ Braille.’' ( Ag Neeeeeeeeee……….)
 
Why do the expressions ‘fat chance’ and ‘slim chance ‘mean exactly the same thing.
 
Barry and Cynthia go to a pre-natal class. The instructor recommends that they
both take exercise together by going on slow, gentile walks.
Barry sticks his hand up. ‘’ will it hurt the baby if my wife carries my golf bag?’'
 
It is tragic getting older. Food has replaced sex in my life ,which means that
these days I am not even able to even get into my own pants.
 
Tom forgets to close the fridge door properly one night and in the morning he
finds everything inside it has gone bad. Brenda is furious and yells at him.
‘’What am I going to do with all this food?’'
Says Tom.’’ All right, no need to make a meal out of it.
 
Scotland beat the Puma’s 52-29 in a very Tough /rough game with plenty of foul play, and the Puma’s let their tempers get the better and received a red and two yellows…..Just can’t win games when you are guilty of continual foul play….. If the Puma’s can only control their ‘Vuil‘ play, they could become World beaters…..
 
The All Blacks meant business at Twickenham where they played ‘Old style’ All Blacks Rugger for the first half, and led 14-3…….The next 30 mins was also the same brand, BUT…… in the 70th minute England had a dubious try allowed, and they were pumped up and somehow the managed to draw with the All Blacks, which the AB’s can say “We was robbed’….after being all over England for 70 minutes and should have got 40 points….That’s Rugger, no complaints, BUT….. Methinks the Schvartzers are back to their ‘old style’ play….. Kudu’s to the Poms for coming back……
 
The Ireland – Australia game was really a Humdinger with Ireland holding on for a last gasp win …Closer that that you don’t get in such a gruelling match, with both sides playing hard Rugger to win…. 13-10 in these days of high scoring games shows how tough it was ….
 
CONFUCIUS DID NOT SAY...
Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient.
Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly.
Lady who goes camping must beware of evil intent.
Squirrel who runs up woman's leg will not find nuts.
Man who leaps off cliff jumps to conclusion.
Man who eats many prunes get good run for money.
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
It takes many nails to build a crib but only one screw to fill it.
Man who drives like hell is bound to get there.
Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.
Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
 
The Premier League is on hold till Boxing Day, due to the World Cup which has started…… What a Skande that Qatar got it, and it is Tukka a forgotten tournament GEEEEES wiZe, as very few locals are actually getting involved in supporting…. And the first major upset was Argentina losing 2-1 to Saudi Arabia…..????

Those in the USofA can get their supply of Biltong, Droe Wors and other Souff Effrikken 'Gerichten' from the Biltong Guy www.1800biltong.com   …all products are ‘Glatt Kosher’ ( in separate area)…., and they have a wide variety of ‘Lekker’ Biltong/Wors details at     http://www.stantgsm.com/category/info/15  New Biltong supplier for the USofA
 
“Your beliefs don’t make you a better person — your behavior does.”  — Sukhraj Dhillon 
“Have patience. All things are difficult before they become easy.” ―  Saadi
“Don’t let the behaviour of others destroy your inner peace.” — 14th Dalai Lama
"The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away." ― Pablo Picasso
“The heart of human excellence often begins to beat when you discover a pursuit that absorbs you, frees you, challenges you, or gives you a sense of meaning, joy, or passion.” ―Terry Orlick
“Everyone has been made for some particular work and the desire for that work has been put in every heart.” ― Jalaluddin Rumi
Patience, persistence and perspiration make an unbeatable combination for success. ―  Napoleon Hill
“Do not bite at the bait of pleasure till you know there is no hook beneath it.” — THOMAS JEFFERSON 
“True wisdom lies in gathering the precious things out of each day as it goes by.” — E.S. BOUTON
“The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are.” — J. PIERPONT MORGAN
“The test and use of man’s education is that he finds pleasure in the exercise of his mind.” — JACQUES BARZUN
"You never conquer a mountain. You stand on the summit a few moments. Then the wind blows your footprints away." – ARLENE BLUM
“Tis not the meat, but tis the appetite makes eating a delight.” — SIR JOHN SUCKLING
 
Lay of the Land… https://layoftheland.online      News from ‘The Land of Milk & Honey’…& the World…  https://layoftheland.online/2022/11/23/the-israel-brief-21-24-november-2022/
 
With a ‘Bissel’ Help from their Souff Effrikken Chavers….Lekker write up ….
https://www.jewishnews.co.uk/opinion-with-the-help-of-our-friends-from-the-beautiful-south/
 
Chazzan Ari Klein with the Sydenham choir ‘Amolikke Yoren’…..
https://youtu.be/7ZtzfupV_iM
Chazzan Ari & Colin Band (Aka Danny Da Vito).. https://youtu.be/b31frNXzwnw 
Chossen Kallah Mazeltov …What a Tune…… https://youtu.be/CCyYR_nD_Sw
Chazzan’s Ari  & Oshy…. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QPPh-_FVH7s&t=373s
 
Menorah in the middle …..Coming next month already….. Chanukah ….
https://www.heyalma.com/this-lucy-devito-and-jonah-platt-rom-com-is-a-hanukkah-m

The 'Koppie' & Mountain climbers, Jeff & Jenni are still climbing every
'Koppie' & Mountain... and posting the most E-mazing Pichaaaaaa’s on their website  http://lazarowhike.blogspot.com/   …..    'Gib A Kuk’…  They are back in the USofA… Page, Arizona: Lake Powell and its surroundings. Hiking above and along Antelope Canyon….. Colorado River after passing through Glen Canyon Dam, Arizona
 
An Asian fellow has moved in next door.  He has travelled the world, swum with sharks, wrestled bears and climbed the highest mountain. 
It came as no surprise to learn his name is Bindair Dundat.
 
Paddy, the electrician, got sacked from the U.S. prison service for not servicing the electric chair.. …He said in his professional opinion it was a death trap! 
 
Paddy and his wife are lying in bed and the neighbours' dog is barking like mad in the garden.
Paddy says "To hell with this!" and storms off.
He comes back upstairs 5 minutes later and his wife asks "What did you do?"
Paddy replies "I've put the dog in our garden. Let's see how they like it!"
 
Mick and Paddy are reading head stones at a nearby cemetery.
Mick says "Crikey! There's a bloke here who was 152!"
Paddy says "What's his name?"
Mick replies "Miles, from London !"
 
Two Major Dinners in the community last week….. 900 ‘Meidlach’ arrived for the Chevra Kadisha function and by all accounts, it was a magnificent evening, with the Ladies thoroughly enjoying being out….. It was held @ the Sandton Convention Centre…..Kari Berkowitz did the décor and Delores Fouché the Catering….
 
Saturday night saw the Jewish Business achievers awards take place @ the Sandton Convention centre…… and it was an incredible set up for the banquet, with many category winners ….. Please click on the Jewish Report link for a full report of all the category winners ……
 
To top all the Groiser Functions this week, The Buffalo was invited to England to meet King Charles…… Eishhhhhhhhhhhh….
 
Two ladies were in the beauty parlour, sitting under the hairdryers, and with obvious difficulty , were discussing their families.
‘’ Do you mean to tell me that your son and daughter -in-law were married six months ago , and you haven’t visited them yet.?’’ Exclaimed the first lady…..‘I am shocked.’'
Demanded the second lady. ‘’ What is to be shocked for?.
 I am waiting until they have their first baby.
Everybody knows that a grandma is always more welcome than a Mother-in-law.
 
Keenly aware of the old man’s penchant for biting sarcasm the young suitor was
understandably nervous about asking him for his daughter’s hand in marriage.
Summoning up the necessary courage, he approached the girl’s father and, in trembling tones, asked. ‘’ May I have your daughter for my wife?’'
Came the reply. ‘’ I don’t know, bring your wife around and let me have a look at her.’' (Oy……)
 
The Lubavitch Kinnus took place in NY this past week also, aand it was Tukka mind blowing….. 5,585 guys in ONE photo….and many other GR888888 gatherings over the week…..The Kinnus is when all the Late Rabbi Schneerson’s emissaries get together from around the World….. Quite a few Rabbi’s & friends went from Souff Effrikka…..Rabbi ‘Yossy’ Goldman was there and also spoke at the Kinnus…..
Pictures ; https://www.stantgsm.com/category/pictures/4
 
Abe & Rachel Katz just got married and moved into an apartment in New York City filling it with all of the precious items they received as wedding gifts. One day, they received in the mail two tickets for a popular show in the city, with a single line written on the envelope:
"Guess who sent them."
Abe & Rachel assumed that it was a belated wedding present and while they enjoyed the show immensely, they spent the whole evening trying to figure out who the tickets were from.
On their return home from the show, Abe & Rachel were met with a disastrous sight:
Their apartment had been stripped of every one of their wedding presents, every article of value in the apartment.
And on the bare table in the dining-room was a piece of paper on which was written a note on an envelope: …"Now you know!"
 
The E-mazing Coffee Table book, ‘The Road through the Grove’, which calls back the past, of the history from the Johannesburg Drive In along the BIG LB
(Louis Botha Avenue) to Hillbrow, and anything on either side from Highlands North High to KES, very few copies left, and I am selling them at R500 in the Johannesburg area and will get them delivered to you….. Don’t miss this E-mazing book…. What a gift!!!!!!!!!  Drop me an E-mail at smookler@netactive.co.za    … The stocks are running low, soooo don’t wait…….…. Nuuuuuuuu, I managed to send a few books to Sydney for those who requested them and there could be 2/3 books left….. Let me know if you want one….. any one going to Tooo-Run-Tooo..??? Need to send a book there….
 
A man walks into his hotel’s elevator
The operator asks:
“Which floor son?”
“17th” replies the man
“No problem son” says the operator
As they approach the 17th floor the operator says:
“Enjoy the rest of your stay son”
Becoming somewhat annoyed the man inquires:
“Why do you keep calling me son?”
The operator responds:
“Well. I brought you up didn’t I?" ( Corny……………)
 
Got a lovely ‘Meisa’ from a Chaver of mine…… Really is a Lekker Meisa….. The Borowsky family are a very well-known family known for their singing talents…. Bobby & his Late Boet Jules were singers in Shul choirs for 5/6 decades and Bob ended up in OZ as a theatrical singer, having sung in many major productions…. In my day, 40-50 years ago, Bob ran the Choirs for Garden Chasene’s….. Jules’s Zunnelle (also) Bobby had 4 Kinderlach same time as my Kinderlach @ King David Victory Park …… Wayne is married to Gabriella (Dennill….a Tzu ge Tzebete Cuzzie), Shaun, Greg & Robyn……. Shaun was @ Film School with my Zunnelle Joel….. Shaun & Greg ( a brilliant Sokka Shpieler) have spent the past 10 years developing a stage production to open in the West End in London early in 2022 next month called “MANDELA”….and another King David Boytjie, Shaun Hurwitz is also involved on the financial side….. I am sure it will be a roaring success….. Shaun & his Boet Rabbi Ricky were the most E-mazing singers in all the King David plays over the years while they were there…..
 
E-mazing 4-bedroom ,3 bathroom semi available for rent December/ January. Fully kosher kitchen, in Rose Bay - Sydney Australia.  Please contact Dani on
+61 420 655 085 ….  Daniel Zaidel daniel.zaidel@yahoo.com .
 
Shlomo is out on a morning walk when he passes Moishe's house
On the front lawn is a sign that says:
"Boat for Sale"
This confuses Shlomo because he knows that Moishe doesn't own a boat
So he goes inside to ask Moishe about it
"Hey Moishe" says Shlomo
"I noticed da sign in your yard dat says 'Boat for Sale'
But ya ain't never been fishin' and don't even have a boat
All ya have is your old John Deere tractor and a combine harvester"
Moishe responds:
"Yup. And dey're boat for sale"
 
There is a YIDDISHER ZUMZITZ on Sunday the 27th Movember @ 8.00 pm SA time…. https://tinyurl.com/zumzitz Eli Goldstein & Veronica Belling will be in conversation with Miryem Khaye Seigel and ““Ze wel reidin Yiddish”  See times for various countries and details @ https://www.stantgsm.com/category/info/15 See flier….. https://www.stantgsm.com/category/info/15 Zooooom meeting ID ;
840 2596 8448 Password 1234
 
Morris's car is not running right
So he takes it to the local mechanic
The mechanic listens for a minute
Then he takes out his hammer and whacks the side of the engine
Unbelievably the car smooths right out
"How much?" asks Morris
"Ten Shekels" replies the mechanic
Morris is outraged and yells:
"Ten Shekels!!! That's outrageous!
You spent two minutes! I demand a full itemized statement!"
The mechanic takes out his pad and writes:
Gegeben a Klop (Delivered a Blow) . . . 1 Shekel
Gewust wo (Knew where) . . . 9 Shekels
Gesamt (Total) . . . 10 Shekels….. ( Otazay……………)
 
This week, the ‘Men from the Ministry’ decided that Zuma’s release on Medical Parole was not legal and should never have been done….. They now talking about sending him back to ‘Cheder’, and once his there decide if he should stay or be let free….. Methinks they must let him free, get his court case going, and lock him up for good properly….This Parole rubbish will cause his ‘drek’ to rise and burn/loot again….. They have to get him to court and prosecute the Mumzer once and for all and throw the key away…..
 
E-mazing week @ Beacon Island available from 7th-14th January…. Two rooms available…. Drop me an e-mail at smookler@netactive.co.za for more details….
 
Eli is a Genealogist of note…Eli Rabinowitz – 'Gib A Kuk' at his blog… https://elirab.me/about/     ……. E-mazing news from 'Der Heim’s' & The 'Beloved Country' … Doing what he does best ….Everything 
 
Also this week, totally against the run of things, they have decided that it is time for Janusz Walus to be let free after nearly 30 years in tronk…..He and his Chaver the Late Darby Lewis were sentenced to death for killing Chris Hani…… Darby Lewis was paroled a few years ago as he was virtually dead, and died soon after his release…..BUT the Hani family have blocked every application for him to be paroled….and now he is being released….??? Which is quite E-mazing and all the Bobbameises will follow…. Not sure what a person does after 30 years in jail….?? Maybe go back to his homeland…??? https://www.iol.co.za/news/crime-and-courts/this-is-why-the-concourt-ordered-chris-hani-killer-janusz-walus-to-be-released-on-parole-18227206-8aff-4691-b0da-cb0d08ca7001 ...  Hani‘s wife Limpho is ‘woes’ and she is now starting to approach Chavers to stop it …Sisulu is one of them …..
 
The Yiddish show on Chai FM 101.9 …….. Every Thursday from 10am to 11am. …. Featuring Ronnie Kaplan, Hylton Kaplan and Judy Moritz….All 3 are very well known in the community
 
The 94.7 Cycle race took place last Sunday, and like every year caused total traffic Chaos…… My Zunnele Martin rode in the race and finished it….all 90 km….he rode for the DL Link….. Pictures ; https://www.stantgsm.com/category/pictures/4
 
Minsker the Shlepper”… Paul Minsker has been singing in the Sandton Shul choir, and he does ‘Shlepping’ ….Besides Airport runs, Sun City etc., he also does ‘Shlepping’ of confidential documents…… 083-5426480 see https://www.stantgsm.com/view-post/pauls%20driver%20service/8242
 
Eishhhhhhhhhhkom can actually never come right, as they have now run out of ‘Geld’ to pay for oil needed to run the turbines…… With breakdowns every couple of hours, how the hell will they ever manage to get enough power that is needed….. Internally staff are sabotaging them, contractors on the outside are also causing chaos, and in all this time they have only managed to catch a handful of saboteurs
 
Julio Woznica, a very special tour guide, speaking many languages….. and his Soweto Tours are legendary…. 082-654 4888  http://stantgsm.com/search/julio   Contact Juliowoz1@gmail.com   +27 82 65 44 888 …Virtual Tour ……… https://drive.google.com/file/d/1g-fU4u5arkrC7zsQvl-SuL43GM3xqKEo/view
 
The JWBS have their R30 ALL books sale @ Genesis Centre on the 4th December from 9am-1.00 pm. Come early, some very good books available,…
 
Get your copy of the Jewish Report https://www.sajr.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2022/11/2022-11-25.pdf   ….  or @ your favourite Shopkella’s…….
See ALL the winners in the Jewish Achievers awards…..
 
On Sunday, The South African Zionist Federation in conjunction with the South African Jewish Ex Service League will be hosting an unveiling ceremony with a difference at West Park Cemetery in Johannesburg this Sunday, 27 November 2022. The 100 year old cornerstone of the Jewish Guild War Memorial Building has been moved to the South African National Jewish War Memorial at the cemetery, where the unveiling will take place. The travels and travails of the cornerstone during the past 100 years make for interesting reading. (Do read the one page attachment to this email entitled "100 Year Old Lost and Found Cornerstone to be Unveiled", which story will be engraved on a granite tablet that will be fixed next to the cornerstone in its new position at the South African National Jewish War Memorial at the cemetery) See https://www.stantgsm.com/category/info/15 for story & picture...Got a Link from Dave @ Lay of the Land, and there info is quite E-mazing and detailed….
https://layoftheland.online/2022/11/22/forgotten-history-remembered/
 
As I mentioned, give Fay Arluk a call if you need a Tombstone….. Contact Fay @  bobbifayarluk@gmail.com     or call her on 082-4899054 or 011-4850511  http://www.stantgsm.com/category/info/15
 
Mick and Paddy had promised their Uncle Seamus, who had been a seafaring gent all his life, to bury him at sea when he died.
Of course, in due time, he did pass away and the boys kept their promise.
They set off with Uncle Seamus all stitched up in a burial bag and loaded onto their rowboat.
After a while Mick says, 'Do yer tink dis is fer enuff out, Paddy?'...
Without a word Paddy slips over the side only to find himself standing in water up to his knees.
'Dis'll never do, Mick. Let's row some more.'
After a bit more rowing Paddy slips over the side again but the water is only up to his belly, so they row on.
Again Mick asks Paddy, 'Do yer tink dis is fer enuff out Paddy?'
Once again Paddy slips over the side and almost immediately says, 'No dis'll neva do.'
The water was only up to his chest.
So on they row and row and row and finally Paddy slips over the side and disappears.
Quite a bit of time goes by and poor Mick is really getting himself into a state when suddenly Paddy breaks the surface gasping for breath.
'Well is it deep enuff yet, Paddy?'
WAIT FOR IT
'Aye 'tis,
NOW hand me dat shovel. (Yislaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaik….)
 
The whole country at the moment is ONLY focused on the ‘Fakakte’ ANC congress being held next month to nominate another lot of stooges for a Zillion position…..the way it stands nearly 80% of the higher appointees are under a suspicious cloud for all kinds of Gunavis….. The Presidente himself, with his ‘Phala Phala ‘$$$$ under the Mattress’ scandal and Mkhize, who is running for President definitely under a cloud for fraud & corruption, and the nonsense goes right down to the gardener, with each one having a dark cloud hanging over them……Todays old Nationalist Party paper, The Citizen reckons that the Buffalo is in, as there is no one close to him…??? Changes by the hour…….
 
Englishman, American, Frenchman and a Pakistani on top of the Eiffel Tower .
The American throws a load of money off the top.
"Why did you do that"? Ask the others.
"We have so much money in the States I can afford to do it" says the American.
"Ok" says the Frenchman and throws a bottle of champagne off the top, saying "we have so much champagne in France I can afford to do it"
The Pakistani looks at the Englishman and says “Don’t you dare!"…………….. (Einaaaaaah…)
SOSA who assist with Medical aid for those that can’t afford have now started a drive to get ‘Kosher’ meals to patients who are in Public hospitals, which is a much needed service…….. They also need funds to run everything….See;
https://www.stantgsm.com/category/info/15
 
Some lekker ‘Lags’ @ http://www.stantgsm.com/category/jokes/5
 
Issy Cohen decided he wanted to serve his Israeli military service in the navy so he had to be interviewed by a navy psychiatrist.
To ascertain how Issy would react to danger, the psychiatrist asked: "What would you do if you looked out of that window right now and saw a battleship coming down the street?"
Issy replied confidently: "I'd grab a torpedo and sink it."
"And where would you get the torpedo?" the psychiatrist asked.
"The same place you got your battleship!" ( Otazay…….)
 
Chappies……. Did U know ……….
http://stantgsm.com/view-post/chappies%20 %20fascinating%20story/5408
Barry Hilton does the ‘Chappies’ Shpiel…… https://youtu.be/LlDAhw0LFpY
You use 72 different muscles while speaking
The longest possible eclipse of the sun is 7.31 minutes
 
FOR the MOST 'Jacked up' 'Yiddisher' Wedding registry, 'Gib A Kuk'   at; www.binuns.co.za     …… Online Helpdesk … 0861 772 665 … see http://www.stantgsm.com/category/simcha-extras/33
 
Happy 5th Birthday to ‘OUR’ ‘Twinnies’….Alexa & Gabi….Many, many more in good health…… Pictures; https://www.stantgsm.com/
 
Mazeltov to Rachel Kopel & Adrian Roux on their engagement on the 57th floor of the Leonardo Hotel, the tallest building in Effrikka…..  Mazzies to Joanne & Roland Kopel and Roux (Slaaaaaaapstad)…… Roland is from Lichtenberg and I grew up with his Late dad ‘Chick’ & Uncle Hymie…..They were the jewellers in Lichtenberg ‘Amolikke Yoren’…..Mazeltov to the whole Mishpocha…. Pictures; https://www.stantgsm.com/
 
Mazeltov to Zoe & Dan Fisher on their Chasene in Melbourne….. Mazzies to Steven & Louise Fisher and Boba & Zaida Celia & George Roth…… E-mazing news….. Celia was a Bridesmaid at my parents Chasene in the 1950’s …..and her dad Harry was a lifelong friend of my Bobba & Mom…. Mazeltov  and lots hof happiness in the future….. Pictures ; https://www.stantgsm.com/
 
Mazeltov to Rivka Orkin & Michael Sher on their engagement this week….To Leslie & Robyn Sher and Rabbi Yossi & Tzipi Orkin Mazzies , and to grandparents Marlene Sher and Arnold & Linda Orkin………. Reb Yossi has been davening @ Sandton Shul for years, and his Mom Linda was an Ephron (Phillip’s Schvester)…… Know Robyn and Les well and did their Chasene….. Arnold is the ‘Carman’ and has been a member @ Sydenham Shul for years…..Mazeltov to the whole Mishpocha…..
Pictures; https://www.stantgsm.com/
 
Sincere condolences to the Koren family on the loss of their Beloved Oscar……. Oscar swam right through winter and his Zunnelle Larry was in our group in the 1960’s in Observatory…..Sincere condolences to the whole family…..
 
Sincere condolences to the Mintz family on the loss of their Beloved Bella …… Knew Late Bella & her Late Husband Harry very well, and they Tukka were salt of the earth people….. Sincere condolences to the whole family…….
 
Sincere condolences to the Raanan family on the loss of Rev Yoav …..Such a Guttenka and was a very learned man……. Really worked hard all his life….. To his wife Brenda and family sincere condolences……
 
Sincere condolences to the Garb family on the loss of their Beloved Jack….. Jack taught at various schools and was involved in education…..He & his Late Boet Louis were soooo well known….They came from Mayfair ‘Amolikke Yoren’….. Sincere condolences to the family….

NATHAN FINE, MENDEL MEYER AND LIONEL COHEN (Ex Andan Trading) ARE ALWAYS THERE TO OFFER THE BEST DEALS ON TOP QUALITY BEDS, APPLIANCES AND FURNITURE. CONTACT THEM FOR THE BEST PRICE AND ADVICE ……… IDEAL FURNISHERS MIDWAYS MALL 280 CORLETT DRIVE BRAMLEY GARDENS. PHONE 011 887 5456 ….  011 614 1351

Click on the logo for more information
MANTIS SECURITY TIP (Call 011- 487-1000) of the week;
Always on the Prowl, looking for the Gunovim……..
  • We are now in the silly season and Gunovim will look at anything to make a quick buck. Please be very alert and vigilant.
  • The Gonnifs could be someone from your very own neighbourhood.
  • The cravings for drugs and alcohol will be on the rise from now on.
  • Please park your cars inside your yard and keep your gates locked.
  • Don't leave any valuables in your car where ever you park.
  • Avoid carrying cash with you.
  • Ensure your valuables are secure when going shopping.
  • Watch the people around you in your area and when shopping.
  • Scouts are now on the lookout for good tragets…don’t wear expensive jewellery….
  • If you notice anything suspicious please report immediately.
Be ‘Wakker’ & ‘StreetwiZe’ all the time…………
Call; MANTIS @ (011- 487-1000) for advice and sign up and discuss it with their experienced staff.
 
FOR ANY EMERGENCY, SUSPICIOUS ACTIVITY OR POTENTIAL THREATS SPECIFICALLY RELATED TO THE JEWISH COMMUNITY OR JEWISH INSTALLATIONS, CONTACT THE CSO ON 0861 8000 18
Have a peaceful, restful Shabbos...From Stan and the Clan
Smookler@netactive.co.za 
Eerbare Makelaaaaaar van Suid Afrika ………
Cell- 082-454-7860
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Parsha of The Week 

Rabbi Emeritus
‘Yossy’ Goldman,’                                                                                BH    
Sydenham Shul,
C/O ‘Beloved Country’
Sermon Toldos 2022

                                  
“A Curse Upon MY Head!”

 
Three Jewish mothers are sitting on a bench discussing how much their sons love them.Betty says "You know the Chagall painting hanging in my living room?
My son, Arnold, bought that for me for my 75th birthday.
What a good boy, he really loves his mother."
Dorothy says, "You call that love? You know the BMW I just got for Mother's Day? That's from my son Bernie. What a doll of a boy!"
Whereupon Shirley says, "That's nothing. You know my son Stanley?
He's in therapy with a psychologist every week. And what does he talk about?
Me!"
 
I was reminded of this old Jewish joke when reading this week’s Parsha. Rebecca overhears her aged, blind husband, Isaac, telling their son Esau to bring him some food so that he may bless him before he dies. Rebecca instructs her other son, Jacob, to impersonate his twin brother Esau. She will give him food which Isaac enjoys, so that the righteous Jacob should receive the blessings rather than the wicked Esau.
 
But Jacob protests.
“But my brother Esau is a hairy person, and I am smooth skinned. If my father feels me and sees that I am an imposter, I will bring upon myself a curse and not a blessing.”
 
“And his mother said, ‘Let your curse be upon me, my son…
Then Rebecca took Esau’s clothing for Jacob to wear and gave him the food, and the rest is history. Jacob duly impersonates Esau. Isaac feels him and is confused, uttering the famous line, “The voice is the voice of Jacob, but the hands are the hands of Esau.”
 
In the end, Jacob does indeed receive the blessings. Esau is incensed and threatens to kill his brother and Jacob is compelled to leave town.
But my question is this. Didn’t Jacob love his mother? He is afraid of incurring his father’s curse instead of a blessing but no sooner does his mother say, “Your curse be upon me, my son,” that Jacob agrees to go along with the ruse?
You don’t want to be cursed, but you’re happy for your mother to be cursed?!
“The curse be upon me, my son,” says the Jewish mother and Jacob immediately agrees. “Oh, you’ll take the curse, Mom? OK, then I’ll go. No problem”
 
What kind of son is this?! He is afraid of his saintly father’s disapproval which could bring a curse upon his head, but he has no issue with his own mother being cursed?! Is this behaviour becoming for Jacob, one of the great founding fathers of our faith?
What I have gathered from the commentaries is this. When Jacob saw that his mother was prepared to take the fall, to risk the potentially lethal curse of Isaac just so that he, Jacob, and not Esau, should be the recipient of these blessings, he realized that these were no ordinary blessings. It wasn’t a case of Fiddler on the Roof’s “A blessing on your head, Mazel Tov, Mazel Tov.” These blessings conferred on his son shortly before his demise would effectively mean that the recipient would be nothing less than the next link in the chain of Jewish leadership and peoplehood. These blessings were intended as a “passing of the baton” from Isaac on to his chief heir who would become the leader of the next generation. And whichever son received them would determine the very fate and destiny of Am Yisrael forever!
Can you just imagine if in our prayers every day we intoned “the G-d of Abraham, Isaac and…Esau?!” Would our nation ever have become who we are if Esau and not Jacob were the spiritual successor to Isaac?
 
If his mother was prepared to risk being cursed by the saintly Isaac, this was a powerful proof that it was absolutely critical that these blessings would be conferred upon him and not Esau. And so, then and there, Jacob agreed to his mother’s request.
 
And this also explains how the saintly patriarch Jacob could engage in deception, impersonating his brother before his blind father. Every year in Shul someone asks me the obvious question. How could Yaakov Avinu, our Father Jacob, lie?! How could he tell his father he was Esau?
 
And the answer is that to save a life deception is justified. And to save the life and legacy of an entire nation it is certainly justified.
Indeed, afterwards when Isaac realizes what transpired what does he say? He doesn’t berate Jacob at all. In fact, he states “Indeed, he (Jacob) shall remain blessed.”
 
Jacob, like all Jewish boys, loved his mother. But he and his mother loved G-d and were fully aware of the sacred responsibility on their shoulders to be guardians of our faith and our people. This was not a game. This was no charade. Isaac, in his blindness, or for whatever reason, felt that Esau should receive the blessings. Rebecca, with her woman’s intuition, knew better.
 
Both Jacob and Rebecca were fully cognizant of their mission to perpetuate Judaism and our glorious nation. And thanks to their courage, commitment, and preparedness for sacrifice, Jewish continuity was safe and assured for eternity.
 

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